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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I doubt the OP is going to refuse to any cleaning, cooking, or shopping chores.  What I believe she is looking for, is to eliminate any EXPECTATION that she will do those things.

For example, no guarantee that dinner will be made.

During the first 3 years of a child's life is when the neuron pathways are built.  "A child’s adult capacities, it seemed, rests heavily on neural foundations developed through early learning experiences."

Here's an article about it.  Sure there are many.

https://www.brookings.edu/blog/education-plus-development/2014/05/20/kick-back-relax-and-help-your-children-develop-neural-pathways/[/quote]

I hope you are right and what you describe is how our family functions.  I am less confident that is what OP has in mind.

There is no "guarantee" that dinner will be made or that at least light housework will get done. Some days my son is needier than normal, some days some other activity or crisis consumed more of the day than typical, and on rare occasions I just get tired/lazy and take more me time while he sleeps.  On those days, my DH will pick up dinner or one of us will make something absurdly simple once he gets home.

But the general expectation we have is that I will usually do dinner and light house work while my son sleeps or is otherwise occupied.  I can also get a bunch done by wearing him.  For the heavier cleaning, we hire someone.

I think this is fair and reasonable since I don't see why I would need or even want hours long breaks most days while my son sleeps and my DH certainly doesn't get those breaks at work.[/quote]

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