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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you for all the feedback. I am not offended (this is OP) by the criticism as frankly I would have been judgemental until I actually lived what I am going through with mom. FWIW we had tried aids at mom's house but it just didn't work. Very difficult to get trustworthy people and don't believe all the happy commericals. The house was also just too big and overwhelming. I know that she needs assisted living this is not in doubt. I was hoping to get ideas on how long for the transition to work and advice dealing with family who does not agree. My brother's are fine with her place and yes it is clean and safe and it is good to have doctors on staff. Mom definitely needs medical oversight and would not take her medicine left alone. I am hoping to convince siblings and dad. Mom and dad had a late in life separation but dad sees her a few times week. This is one reason that moving her here is a no go as she likes her hometown and seeing dad. We also have jobs that could require a move. Mom's personality is a lot of complaining and has gotten worse with age. I do understand that she doesn't like her circumstances but fighting with someone who thinks they can live in their home is so tiring. Maybe I am venting but again ideas on how to handle. Much appreciated.[/quote]

Some it just isn't yours to handle -- she needs to accept that this is where she'll be living and that it she would be happier if she tried to find things to like -- activities, other residents, whatever.

Are there concrete problems that you *could* help address? A friend's mother was unhappy about how long it took staff to answer her calls, so a couple of days a week, she hired an aide who would take her places, play cards with her, or just keep her company. My friend also visited pretty regularly, and for a while they had projects to make her room/apartment nicer: getting a chair reupholstered, figuring out which pictures to hang and getting them framed, going through photos and putting them in albums that were small enough that her mother could handle them herself. [/quote]

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