Reply to Revenge/trolling: Real-life stories

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
 Am I the only one who thinks the exhusband sounds much worse than the exwife? [b]Why wouldn't he use at least a little of that money to fix up the house? Shows that he was never really fully committed to the marriage, if you ask me.[/b]

And what is really low.. who GLOATS about the fact that a daughter won't speak to her mother? A good father will try to build understanding between his children and their mother. Not revel in the destruction of their relationship. Using the children against an ex-spouse is about as low as it gets, parenting-wise.[/quote]

I have a stock portfolio that my parents created for me back in college.  It was created as an emergency fund and if needed, house downpayment, etc.  They actually put a lot of money into it.  I never needed it.  I was in my 30s when I got married.  We had to have a prenuptial for several reasons and this was one of the items that got included, I put in that this was to be kept as non-marital.  It has continued to grow.  My wife also had some accounts and her federal retirement that are listed as separate in our pre-nuptial.  We have had enough to survive on our own and have kept the pre-marital funds separate.  If we get to the point where the kids have graduated college and I have not used it (unlikely), then I have spoken with my parents and it will go into the trust for our children.  This way the money stays in our family.  But at this point, if we divorce, our marital assets are plenty big enough for both of us as long as we aren't greedy (and neither of us is generally).

Not using pre-marital money that is supposed to be an emergency cushion for frivolous things like upgrades to your house is not a lack of commitment to the marriage.[/quote]

You don't need a prenup to shelter an inheritance or even pre-marital 401(k) balances or traditional pension entitlement. The law shelters these for you, by making them non-marital. I have an inheritance including trust funds and, while XDH tried his hardest to get his hands on them, it never came close to being an issue. XDH did clamor though our marriage for me to use a bit of my inheritance to buy him cars (yes, cars in the plural) and to my lasting regret I finally broke down and got him a new car a few years.  I'm the PP whose XDH is going to have a nasty shock when he retires early. Also, my mom who has major bucks, cut him out of her will. [/quote]

We had the prenuptial to cover a lot of varied properties that we wanted to assure were kept separate.  In addition to the stock portfolio, I owned a house and she rented, so planned to move into my house.  It was laid out that should we divorce, the house in it's entirely including any payments made during marriage would be solely owned by me.  I would also not have claim to any of her sizable retirement plan despite being eligible by law to half of it.  And a number of other issues.  As we married later in life, we both had some considerable assets that we wanted to preserve just in case.  We laid out all of the things that would be off the table, the lawyers helped to make sure that the off-limits items were fairly balanced and then everything else (which was still considerable) would be marital and split.  It was nice to have it laid out so that there were no expectations of inequity, that either of us was keeping too much, etc.

[quote]  Okay. And are you sure you're only talking kindly about your ex in front of your child? Anything else is not fair to her. (And she may well hold it against you when she's older.) I am very grateful to my divorced parents for speaking respectfully of one another in my presence.[/quote]

Actually my wife and I (co-parents of both of our children) are still happily married after 15 years with no plans to divorce anytime soon.  Very stable marriage and there is very little stress between us about finances or money.  [/quote]

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