Reply to I can't afford to pay for my son's graduate school. He is in high school, BTW.

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Reply to "I can't afford to pay for my son's graduate school. He is in high school, BTW."

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[quote=Anonymous]It does make sense for the child. She has the ability to lower the child support amount and terminate it early. I don't have the intricacies of their situation but I am 100% sure she has the authority to do that as the custodial parent. In exchange for that he must agree to pay some college and graduate school expenses. They must, as a unit, submit that to the court to make it binding. The kid makes out better in the long run. It is worth a shot but I personally don't see the father doing that if he's taken the stance he has. My best guess is that she played hard ball with him during the divorce and/or child support proceedings. I say that because we get these stories all of the time. One parent requests a non-custodial waiver, calls/puts in writing what the situation is, says how much of a jerk the other parent is, etc. Then the other parent submits their information and an maybe an explanation on the CSS Profile and the picture becomes very very clear. [b]It is unreasonable to play hard ball with someone and then expect them to work with you fairly. It sucks for the children.[/b][i][u] I can't begin to count the number of times I've come across these stories. She has a shot to still secure longer term benefits for her child but she must act fast and it will be an uphill battle.

I offered a possible solution that is irrespective of the college the kid attends. If he attends a highly selective school they will ask for the CSS Profile, the non-custodial profile, etc. and all of this will come out. If the father does indeed have a high income the school will say that the family has the ability to pay and they won't offer any need-based money to the child. However, if they have a plan to pay college prior to that point, that is of course enforceable and exactly what I am suggesting, they will all sail through smoothly. If not, it'll only hurt the kid. She said DC child support ends at 21 but the kid has financial needs beyond that and she still has the ability to secure them -- think long term, people. Think long term.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I work in financial aid and I see a ton of these cases. I'll say this, children of parents who can work together without any outside influence fare very well. I'm assuming the child support order was a one-side affair (at your urging) done via the courts. I say that because we see it all the time where it comes back to bite the child and one parent says it's not fair that the other parent will not help any more. The problem is that they left it up to the court to decide a monetary amount with a finite time frame. Families who did not make it, it happens, that submitted a joint plan to the courts that includes college, etc. fare much better. I don't know the intricacies of the support order but if you are receiving $1,500 a month through the age of 21, you would have fared better for the child had you mutually agreed upon say $1,000 a month and split college and graduate expenses 50/50. Based upon your statement I don't think you two mutually agreed upon anything and submitted it to the courts -- you probably played hard ball. You would be surprised at the information non-custodial parents share in the explanation section on the CSS Profile. They are brutally honest. It sounds too late in your case but it would have been best for you two to agree on support, college, etc. and then submit your plan to the courts. Based off of what I've seen in my many years of working in financial aid, the courts breed lots of contempt that comes out at a later date.

That said, your ex doesn't owe anything to you or the kid (who can take out loans). It is a privilege to have your parents do anything financially for you and especially past the age of 17/18 -- those children who's parents do help them are very fortunate. Your son can take out loans and that is especially true if he plans to go to med school. There is also the option of going through a HRSA program to help with school or loan repayment (e.g., https://www.nhsc.hrsa.gov/). There is a service payback for it. I wouldn't recommend you go trying to drag your ex's name in the mud with the kid. It's his father and he'll see right through it. Not to mention, he'll may friends go through nasty relationship battles if he doesn't go through it himself. Good luck to your child in his future endeavors.

[quote=Anonymous]

Your post makes no sense.  Either mom gets child support or they share college expenses if both have a say in the college and financial situation.  Dad should not pay child support and college while mom uses the child support for her share of college.  Child is no longer living in mom's home so she has no need for child support and a separate college support.  Child support is Dad's contribution.  You either stop the child support and share expenses or Mom needs to appreciate what she gets and use it appropriately and stop purging Dad.  Their incomes are very similar except Dad has money leaving his home and mom has it coming in.  They are then not having equal income to split 50/50.

Child needs to go to a reasonably priced college.  If mom wants an expensive school and Dad does not agree, Mom pays.[/quote][/quote]

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