Reply to Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids with selective mutism who are redshirted have parents who are working with EI and private therapists, not asking DCUM in August whether they should redshirt their kids. I’m sure they’re deeply worried that in the opinion of non-experts they’re doing the wrong thing. [/quote]

Are you saying EI and private therapists are actually recommending this?[/quote]

I only know two cases personally, but in both of those cases the professionals recommended delaying kindergarten while the kid continued to do a supportive PreK program and get more therapy than would have been available in a public kindergarten schedule. I have no idea if that’s the “standard” recommendation. But the idea that the parents are sitting by idly just waiting for their kid to get older is a DCUM fiction.[/quote]

Was this for selective mutism? Genuinely curious.

Many parents with kids with selective mutism don't recognize it. We thought our kid was just shy.  When we realized what it was we definitely considered switching preschools and we talked to the therapist and she explained what our kid needed was treatment and that would not help.

Many people believe kids will outgrow SM and many kids do (with potential mental health consequences if the SM went on for many years). The treatment for SM is hard to access (most therapists don't take insurance) and requires extensive participation from parents as well as supportive teachers. I hear that you know of two whole cases (of SM? Or something totally different?) but I have absolutely no doubt many families in this situation are acting without qualified support. They are in a really stressful situation and I have nothing but empathy for them but it's simply not true everyone is making these decisions because their therapist suggested it.[/quote]

In the case I know better (family member) the PreK 3 referred for EI because they suspected ASD. It was ultimately diagnosed as SM— and kid is a thriving 8 y/o now— but the amount of intervention they recommended was not going to be available to the child in public kindergarten, and by a huge margin (think, the child would get 5+ hours per week in PreK and 1-2 hours in K).

The second child my total body of knowledge is that “Dr. ______ says we’re better off starting him in 2027” so I’m sorry no more data there.

[b]But none of these parents are just lazily deciding to wait out SM and the implication that they don’t know what they’re doing is pretty rude. [/b][/quote]
I didn't say or imply this. Let me repeat since you are clearly just here to fight and bash people: [b]I have nothing but empathy for parents in this situation.[/b]

I will also say it sounds like you actually know of zero cases of a child whose therapists recommended redshirting[b] for SM.[/b]

Kindly please stop using other people's kids to advance your own agenda you POS
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DP who didn’t redshirt and who has kids with an SN where redshirting is sometimes recommended. You are truly an awful person. This is a shocking post. Please back off. You are making SN parents look awful. [/quote]

No but you tell yourself that to justify misinforming people on here. This goes right up with with the folks who think it's ok to make deceptive statements about SN they don't know about because they think nobody with kids in that situation is reading this right now or making decisions based on it.[/quote]

It’s equally (or greater) misinformation to tell people that public kindergarten will provide therapies and intervention to the degree needed for a SN child. That’s not universally true, and many parents need the flexibility of having their child treated in school. [/quote]

Agreed. It is situationally dependent.

This conversation was originally about whether schools should have stricter limits on redshirting, because OP is in a place where redshirting kids who have no delays and winter and spring birthdays is happening.

But somehow now people are being yelled at for suggesting that a child with a diagnosed SN *and* a summer or September birthdays might do better if redshirted.

That's nuts. Of course there are situations where a young for the grade child with SNs should be redshirted, or at least where it's an understandable choice. Saying otherwise makes you sound like you just hate redshirting no matter what. That's not a rational position.[/quote]

Exactly.

And? The opposite is also true— there are some circumstances where a September birthday kid with SN DESPERATELY needs to be in school! Again, kids need to go for all different reasons and not all of them are obvious to outsiders.

The bottom line is the parents need to make this choice. Not random angry people on the internet.[/quote]

Your choices impact others. 5 year olds in k with 6-7 year olds creates inappropriate expectations as expectations are set for older kids when it should be set for a five year old.  It’s not healthy for any of the kids to be with a huge age range.  [/quote]

My choices are intended to be best for *my kid*. I trust that you will also be making the best choice for your kid. It may be that means redshirting, it may mean supplemental material so your kid doesn’t fall behind, it may just mean talking to your kid about how all through school we will meet people of different ages and we always have to do *our* best.
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The point of having grades is to have kids with same age peers.  If your kid needs extra help, you get it vs. holding back.  You cannot say how smart and mature your child is when they are not in the proper grade and with kids 1-2 years younger.  They are less mature if you base it appropriately on age.  And, if you have a 3 year age gap in a class of kids taking algebra, for example and yours is the oldest, but in the same grade, they are not the smartest as they are older, the youngest would be the smartest.  You cannot change IQ.[/quote]

I think this is true and it's especially obnoxious when the parents brag about it. My kid is going into 5th and just turned 10. He is into Pokemon, riding his bike, imaginative play, making his own comics. His friends are closer to his age (new 10 year olds.) There is a cohort of boys in his grade who have been 11 for a while and they are into teen-type stuff which i wont detail. But when one of those moms says to me "Larlo and his group of friends are so emotionally mature! (Your son) might be a late bloomer" I'm like no, he's just a lot younger.[/quote]

So you have an only? How cute. But kids who have older siblings are a little more worldly and are going to be in the same class with your innocent kid. And if you had more than one you would know that. [/quote]

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