Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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Reply to "Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think of it this way. If you had a 2-year-old and got divorced and got 50% custody, the child would only physically be in your presence half the time. In a different scenario, if you used to stay at home with your 2-year-old but switch to working 8 hours a day, you now also only have your child physically in your presence half the time. This is math.

If the verb “raise” is what is offending people, maybe moms should just say “I want to be around my child most of the day instead of have someone else around my child most of the day.”[/quote]

SAHMs use the word raise because they are defensive of their life choices.

No one tells a man that they’re not raising their children when a man works full time paid employment to provide for their family. [/quote]

All mothers are defensive of their life choices because people incessantly attack our life choices. And because as you point out men are not presented with the same choices and thus get to live "default" lives that don't get incessantly judged and picked apart by others. Though men who choose to be SAHDs absolutely do get treated this way. But women get this treatment whether they stay home or work whereas working dads never have anyone question their choices.

That's why even though I'm a working mom I am empathetic to SAHMs who feel like they need to justify their choices. And I can also see how the strong reaction so many working moms are having to this little phrasing in this thread is actually their own defensiveness at work.[/quote]

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