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[quote=Anonymous][quote=shan1212]Has anyone else keyword searched their own texts to make sure they're not more Sonya than they know?  :lol:

I discovered that I have not ever said, "F*** so and so." I have used it as an adjective to describe a situation. I have a couple of friends who do say it in a group chat, and sometimes I will be like, "Well obviously I have reason not to be a fan of that person who has literally harassed me, but also I know that hatred just hurts me so I aim for indifference." Or sometimes I let it go because I'm mad in the moment too, or because no one wants someone to lecture them all the time. But I suppose if these conversations were subpoenaed I would feel like I was guilty of cattyness too.

I thought of another situation recently where in a group of friends who were ostensibly coming together for support, one friend kept singling out another. To make a long story short, I stood up to the bully, and she turned on me, but then apologized and said I was right the next day (not that I doubted it!). If one person isn't safe in a group, then no one is safe. I feel like I'm the person who has to say the hard things because no one else can handle it, or maybe they just convince me of that to get out of it themselves. During a contentious local issue in which people kept using white privilege to hoard public goods, my friends kept saying, "Oh, someone should talk to the news! Oh, someone should start a petition!" but they were all "too afraid" to do it, so I did. It's not that I don't care what others think, but I think I care less than the average person, and that helps in these situations. If I believe I'm right, I'm OK with others thinking I'm wrong. But maybe that's not common.[/quote]

Yes, I have been catty, but not so catty that I wrote a short story as take-down and gave it a title that made it obvious so my friends could laugh. If she had gotten away with it, the whole city of Boston would have been reading that trash short story. So glad for Dawn that was stopped.

But yeah, you sound like you are not that common. We range from the best to the worst, from Dawns to Sonyas. I have been in between, like most.[/quote]

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