Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This reminds me of a friend of mine whose son plays tennis for the high school team. She is obsessive and protectionist about the team and sport for him because she fears it is keeping him out of drugs and the bad crowd or a positive thing he can focus on while he's not so successful socially (gets a tad bullied and socially anxious).

Does that make it okay?[/quote]

No, it's not, IMO, because it still gives sport a place it should not have in a person's life and in the world.

The way to keep a child away from drugs is to talk to him or her plainly about what drugs do to a person and to that person's family. How they degrade you, how they make you a slave to them, how they lead to steal, prostitute yourself, hurt other people, anything to get the money you need to keep buying drugs. How slim-to-nonexistant the chances to actually clean up and stay clean are, once you fall into that trap. It's to keep the lines of communications open and to tell your child that, while there will be dire punishments if you catch him or her doing drugs, there will be no negative consequences if he comes home and says that someone offered him/her drugs, if s/he gives the name of that person to his/her parents so that the parents will get the relevant authorities to do what must be done.

The way to stop the bullying is to come down hard on the bullies, not let a sport be the be-all and end-all in someone's life.

And frankly, given the way this society defines success, I very much prefer a child not to be "popular" and "successful" as per the current definition, especially at the high school level. Give me a child who will strive to make a true difference in the world, who has a solid moral compass, who pursues a wholesome hobby or two without losing sight of the said hobbies importance in the grand scheme of life, and who stays away from the party scene and nonsense such as sports and cheerleading. Give me a child like that any day.[/quote]

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