Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok guys. Here’s our group. How are you handling this? What has worked; what hasn’t? How will we go on in this situation? Let’s discuss. [/quote]

Can anyone explain why a man created this support group for men, but it turned into 35 pages of responses written by women, attacking men? [/quote]

I (a woman) am discovering this thread for the first time, but I suspect it's because women wandered into this thread out of curiosity like me, and discovered many of the men in the thread misunderstanding why women have declining libido. It is frustrating for me to read some of these comments from men who seem to have misplaced anger because they view the loss of sex in their marriage as something their wives control and have taken away from them. But since loss of libido is often something a woman does not have control over, that anger is both unproductive (in fact counterproductive) and unfair.

I do think many of the comments from women in the thread are actually meant in good faith, to be helpful. Not to attack or criticize.[/quote]

I think hormones, aging, and familiarity are big drivers of a lack of sexual interest by wives for their husbands. I think men often don't understand this because women often aren't very direct in explaining that these are big drivers in lack of sexual interest. Maybe they don't know themselves. Maybe the idea that forces largely out of the couple's control are responsible for the situation is just too daunting or depressing, and it's reassuring to think that if only DH did x, y, and z that's within his control that maybe the sexual desire would return. [/quote]

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