Reply to I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point.  It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time.  I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker.  We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious.  DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me.  I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up.  She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family.  I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack.  I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there.  How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?[/quote]

I would ask your HR shop to “run your numbers” to show you what retirement will look like. If you don’t want to go to HR check the annual TSP form which estimates the monthly amount you would receive from the annuity. You can do the math on your pension which can give you that estimate too - you can find how to do that on the OPM.gov web site. I have coworkers supporting their parents - it is important to have an honest conversation about finances. She may very well think you have more than you do. The other thing is start managing expectations with your kids. Our family will pay for NOVA or Montgomery College.  There are no loans for retirement- she might not want to work now but does she want to work when she’s 75 and the money is gone?  Good luck![/quote]

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