Reply to How do you ask grandparents to not force affection?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We would often just say "ok larlo, do you want a hug, a high five, or a fist bump" and if the adult tried to insist on the hug, just say cheerfully "maybe next time!"

I know it annoyed them especially during my kid's shy phase that lasted several years, but bodily autonomy is really important to me. They went along with it.

If anyone had gone with it, [b]my explanation is that it's important my kid knows how to say "no" in the future if a teacher, coach, doctor, or other authority figure tried to force them to hug[/b]. I'm glad it didn't come to this though because I suspect it would have made them defensive.[/quote]

My parents are really elderly (80 when my kids were born,, with lots of grandkids already) so you'd think they'd be set in their ways, but they got this explanation IMMEDIATELY.  They 100% realize that previous generations did not do a good job in teaching kids how to protect themselves proactively, and they totally understood this goal of teaching kids that it's okay to say no even if it's someone you know.  It's grandpa today, but it's Neighbor or Coach or Teacher tomorrow asking for that hug.  This was much more successful than just "Larlo doesn't want a hug" because they'd be convinced they could change his mind.  [/quote]

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