Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous]The difference in attitude in medical versus other reasons for LD, I think, has to do with whether the wife is trying to be sexual with her husband. (Or vice versa.)

If the spouse is medically unable to have or enjoy sex, while it's not ideal, it's much less likely to be perceived by the HD spouse as rejection or indifference; and it's much less likely to be perceived by the HD spouse as blameworthy behavior by the LD spouse.

Absent a pretty clear medical reason, however, if the LD wife isn't making an effort - not taking time to read dirty stories, learn how to enjoy her body with a vibrator, not initiating sex with an expectation that she'll get into it once they get started - the HD husband (or turn around the genders if you'd like) gets the message either that the wife either doesn't view sex as an integral part of marriage or that, if she does, she doesn't give enough of a shit about the husband to make him a priority.

For example, if you've been too exhausted for sex these last few years, why did you voluntarily decide we "need" a garden this year? You don't actually "need" to bake all those cookies for the holidays. You don't "need" to go on every one of the kids' field trips. You didn't "need" to get a dog that now requires additional care. You don't "need" to scrapbook. Or just on and on with the discretionary tasks that are somehow more desirable and necessary than cultivating a health sex life.[/quote]

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