Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear OP - thank you for your post - I completely understand what you are saying. The strange part is that I am the LD wife. The point is that I agree that the situation is not fair to you just as I feel that it is not fair to my HD husband. Sex is a given right in a marriage and I believe that you and my husband have gotten the short end of the stick. I was actually very HD before I had my baby - she is 3 now but somehow I haven't been able to recover. However I am not going to justify this like other LD posters - you can make an effort and that is what I'm doing for my husband! I'm making a special point to initiate and to please him although I may not be in te mood. And let me tell you, his attitude is much better and he is more pleasant when he gets some! And to the other posters who keep tellig you to do "more things around the house" so she will want sex - this is BS. My hubby is great but not very great at helpin out with certain things but in my opinion there is NO correlation. Sex is sex and those with HD need it and hose wih LD don't need it as much. No amount of helping around he house will make me want to jump my husband more. Only my conscious choice to make an effort will help - that's the first step to recovery![/quote]

OP here.  Thak you for sharing.  I have a question if you don't mind answering.  You mentioned that you  initiated sex despite not being "in the mood".  Does that mean that you did not enjoy yourself during that session?  Or that you initiated sex despite not being in the mood but once you got going you enjoyed yourself?   I'd be sad if DW had "unenjoyable" duty sex with me if you know what I mean.[/quote]

I am not the PP but I am a NP poster who was the LD wife of a higherD husband. Initially I did have sex to make him happy because, like pp, I do actually agree that that's part of the marriage contract. I willingly entered that tacit contract so I wanted to fulfill my end of the deal.

To answer your question, no, I did NOT eventually "get into it" once started and every single time I had duty sex it felt like a chore. Eventually, having unwanted sex that is unenjoyable makes the unwilling party feel like a sex worker.  I'm sure you can nderstsnd that, even as I assure [u]you that you are not exactly to blame[/u]. Maybe no one is to blame?!

It's just a really unfortunate dynamic that doesn't always have a tidy win-win solution.

(we are divorced now, and I wish him well)[/quote]

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