Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because I want nothing to damage my kid’s relationship with my ex.

I don't understand why your need to help your ex trumps your own relationship with your kids and your own relationship with yourself. [b]Why do you keep needing to help your ex?[/b] If the kids see him/her on their own and you made the divorce not about them what difference does it make? I really don't understand how hiding something someone did helps anyone. This is where we differ. If we really want our children to accept us as who we are and accept themselves as who they are, we have to actually be who we are.[/quote]

She's not helping her ex. She's helping her kid, who is better off if they have a good relationship with her ex. And she cares about her kid's wellbeing more than she cares about hurting her ex so is comfortable doing something that will be good for her child, even if a side effect is that it will help her ex.

Your lack of understanding that is truly at the crux of the argument between the two sides here. [/quote]

This![/quote]

Why can’t the ex be in charge of his good relationship with his own child? Cheating doesn’t hurt just the adults in the family; it hurts the entire family. Pets even suffer; family pets are often abandoned at shelters because living arrangements after divorce change and pets cannot be taken to the new apartment or rental home. Families lose their homes, too. Cheating and the resulting divorce is often catastrophic and completely changes everything. [/quote]

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