Reply to Do I have any right to be upset with my mom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: 
I have listened to everything everyone has said. And perhaps I am close mooning too many issues. To clarify:

1) He is an on and off again boyfriend and according to my mother, she hadn't spoken to him in over a month prior to this Monday. They have been together on and off over the past 15 years. They have lived together, then seperated on at least 3  occasions. Currently they live separately. In my opinion my mom has been desperately trying to get this man to love her and this is just attempt for her to get his attention.
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OP, let's flip this around. You are single and have been dating a guy on and off for 15 years.  You don't have any siblings.  Your mother dies and you have to take care of all the arrangements for your mother, deal with all the well-wishers, tie up her estate, etc.  You reach out to your boyfriend of 15 years and tell him that you really need his support right now.  You are an emotional basket case and you need some help just getting through the day and making arrangements and notifying extended family and friends.  How would you feel if your boyfriend tells you that he can't get out of babysitting his grandkids for just after school, even though his son is a high-paid lawyer, but won't hire a babysitter to watch them after school?

To many of us, this sounds like a really lame excuse.  After all, it's your mother and you need him.  His kids can definitely afford a babysitter, but won't hear of hiring a babysitter, and instead want to make him stay and watch them.  This is the position you've put your mother in.  I agree with many others that in this situation, tending to the person who just lost a parent is much more important than babysitting grandkids when the parents can afford to get a sitter.

I do agree that she hasn't behaved well in the past, but you can't conflate the two issues, her past behavior and this situation because they are different situations.  The death of a loved one is a special situation and needs to be addressed separately rather than linked to past behavior.  
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