Reply to If you were 39, would you have a baby even if you weren't married?

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Reply to "If you were 39, would you have a baby even if you weren't married?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I would because like other posters mentioned I always wanted to be a mother even if I wasn't lucky in love.  I could also see if I had been burned by my first marriage by someone that seem to change overnight, I might actually want to have a baby and hold off getting married to see how things went with the stress of a young child. I would caveat that I would rethink having a baby with the guy if I thought there were any red flags for addiction, abuse, mental illness, crazy in-laws because it would be better to leave the relationship and have no ties to him.

In regards to the engagement ring and fancy vacation, I don't see the point.  If neither is planning on a big second wedding, money is tight, and they are planning to have that very expensive bundle of joy known as a child right away, why spend several thousands on an engagement ring and then even more to go to Bora Bora? I could see a some sort of vacation pre-kids. But I would be looking for that bargain travel that you CAN do before kids - slightly off season deals.  DH and I went to Ireland in October when we had been dating maybe a year and a half.  We still have inside jokes from some of our travel misadventures.  I would also say after the trip I knew for sure I wanted to marry him.  I would say though if they do anything that is traditionally associated with a wedding without being engaged, it should be premarital counseling.  Making sure they are on the same page for the big things and know how to communicate with each other - worth more than that trip to Bora Bora.[/quote]

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