Reply to For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Curious what finally made you go through with it. [/quote]

I had kind of known for a while that I wasn't going to be able to stay trapped in that relationship for the rest of my life - the thing that finally tipped it for me was going to a wedding - the wedding of a woman my ex worked with, and a woman who I'd crushed on...hard.  That woman and I had that kind of instant, powerful, eye-dilating chemical attraction, the first time we were introduced by DW.  She was seeing someone (and I was obviously married) and of course, neither of us did or said anything inappropriate.  A little over a year later, she dropped by our house while I was alone - ostensibly looking for DW, but made it clear she was there to see me.  After an awkward few minutes (because we both were not going to misbehave), she left.  I knew, she knew, but meh.  That's not love, that's lust, but I was living in a dead, &quot;roomates&quot; relationship, and that was the promise of something better.  About six months later, she accepted the guy's proposal and then six months after that, they married - DW and I went to the wedding.  I remember vividly still (this is 14 years ago now) watching her in her wedding dress, and thinking that should be me up there with her.

Right then and there, I decided I wasn't going to waste any more of my life in a dead relationship.  No kids, no real ties.  Done.  We'd done counseling, we'd tried all sorts of things, for &gt;7 years, and it wasn't going to change.

Very happily re-married today.  I very consciously avoided a TON of mistakes I made the first time.  [/quote]

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