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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP UPDATE*** Ok, so I went to do Thursday folders this morning and spoke to the teacher while the kids were not in the classroom.  She reiterated what she said before, that DD was a very kind child and that she worked well with everyone in the classroom, including Mary.  When I told her about the club she seemed unfazed.  She said that it is fairly common and that there are many children to play with during recess.  [/b]She said that if Mary was having a problem she could only discuss that with her parents [b](basically she kindly told me to mind my own business).  So this is as far as I go.  I'll keep teaching my daughter to be kind and if the mother approaches me again I'll tell her to speak with the teacher.  Thank you for all the responses.[/quote]

But that's not quite right, is it?  If Mary is having a social problem with the kids in her class then surely she can discuss it with her teacher and a school counselor.

I'm not sure the teacher is wrong to say that you don't have to deal with the other mom.  But what worries me about the teacher's response is that the teacher does not seem compelled to take on this issue, either, to help Mary make friends in her class.  The way it is presented here, it's Mary's responsibility to solve her own problem by talking things out with her parents, and the teacher is going to sit back and watch how things play out.  I mean, no wonder why Mary is having problems in this classroom.

Mary is not "owed" a spot in this group, but the teacher should not be setting up and accepting a situation where four girls vote to exclude another girl and that's perfectly okay.  Once it gets to the point that you're voting girls off the island, teacher intervention is warranted.[/quote]

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