Reply to Why do some friends and family consider the end of my marriage such a failure?

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Reply to "Why do some friends and family consider the end of my marriage such a failure?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is a failure.  You entered into a legal (and perhaps spiritual) agreement to stay together till one of you dies.  Short of abuse or infidelity, you are supposed to honor that commitment.  So, yes you failed.  It's not the end of the world.  But it is a big deal.  Broken promises are a really big deal.

If you think it won't affect your kids, you are kidding yourself.  My son's wife's parents are divorcing after 30 years of marriage.  She is beyond devastated. [/quote]

Totally agree with this post. 
And my dad divorced my stepmom when I was in my mid 30's. It totally affected me negatively. It changed how holidays and special occasions are celebrated for one. I also had to deal with their new relationships and complications. I'm not at all saying you shouldn't do it, but I'm confused about why you're surprised that people view it as a failure.[/quote]

+1.  I am an adult child of divorce and it's very complicated.  It affects me and my children negatively and will continue to do so.  Your children are soon to lose a lot of face time with their father.  If you don't think that's a sad thing, well, I don't know what to say.[/quote]

Here's the other side of the story.  I'm an adult child of divorce too and I am not suffering because of it.  Maybe it was because my parents split up when I was 5.  Being raised by a single mother is normal to me.  I am happy with my childhood and I don't feel like I lost out on anything b/c my parents no longer resided together.  I saw them both and got what I needed even they weren't together.[/quote]

PP here.  It's not about my childhood.  Having divorced parents is complicated now.  Lots of travel.  Finding two assisted living places.  Less grandparent time for my kid.  Stepparents, stepsiblings that I barely know, and having to work out care and financial arrangements with them.  It's hard and complicated, and very time consuming.  If you haven't experienced it yet, perhaps you will in the future, and good luck.[/quote]

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