Reply to My DH is asking me to break off a friendship because her husband is cheating on her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt. [/quote]

Remember the 'Don't Shoot the Messenger' adage. She might turn her anger back to you. If she knows that you know this horrible fact about HER/her life, she might distance herself from and/or shun you. Be ready for that.

I would just have a general conversation about what she thinks of the current state of her marriage and I might interject a story of some marriages that break up when the kids leave for college.

You also don't know what could happen in three years time - she could leave him, he could drop dead of a heart attack (fingers crossed), his gf could dump him (very likely), he could have a life changing epihany.. I would not fill her in with everything I heard.[/quote]

I agree and thank you. I am beginning to wish I just distanced myself from this entire situation like my husband suggested. There is no silver lining here.

I am potentially tearing her life apart. [/quote]

Well, and, sadly a lot of marriages will start to implode once the kids head off to college. She will naturally just notice this trend and sharpen her focus of her marriage.
I was so freaked out by some of my friends' marriages unraveling I just came out and asked my husband (who I adore) about it. He said no way but I've been enjoying reconnecting with him a lot more, three years before the last kid will be headed out to college. 
It is kind of important to strengthen your marriage about this time if you'd like it to continue - that's another fairly vague avenue that you can use to start a discussion.[/quote]

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