Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can this man ruin your husband's career somehow? That would be my only concern. But I wouldn't distance myself from her. She needs friends. And I agree about anonymously telling her somehow. If you are the bearer of the bad news, she could turn on you. Not uncommon.

No he couldn't. They are on equal footing and in my understanding after this guy's rant about his wife a lot of his colleagues are giving him a wide berth now.

Anonymous wrote:No way, do it anonymously.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is going to be there while you tell this woman everything her husband told yours? And the two husbands work together? That's gonna go well.

Anonymous wrote:It's possible that OP's husband is cheating, but not with OP's friend. But OP's husband's male work friend might know, and OP's husband might be afraid his male work friend tells HIS wife, and it gets back to OP's wife.

There has to be a reason that OP's husband wants to isolate OP from her female friend and the only possible reason is to inhibit the exchange of information or gossip.

OP's husband's story doesn't make sense, nor does his reaction. Most likely OP's husband is cheating; the work friend found out about it; and OP's husband is afraid his friend's wife might have learned about it and it will get back to OP.

In other words exactly the mirror image scenario as portrayed by the husband.

But OP whatever it is, your husband is definitely up to no good. What kind of person tries to isolate a cheating victim from their friends?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

Remember the 'Don't Shoot the Messenger' adage. She might turn her anger back to you. If she knows that you know this horrible fact about HER/her life, she might distance herself from and/or shun you. Be ready for that.

I would just have a general conversation about what she thinks of the current state of her marriage and I might interject a story of some marriages that break up when the kids leave for college.

You also don't know what could happen in three years time - she could leave him, he could drop dead of a heart attack (fingers crossed), his gf could dump him (very likely), he could have a life changing epihany.. I would not fill her in with everything I heard.

I agree and thank you. I am beginning to wish I just distanced myself from this entire situation like my husband suggested. There is no silver lining here.

I am potentially tearing her life apart.

Are you totally sure she doesn't hate him? He doesn't sound easy to love.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

Remember the 'Don't Shoot the Messenger' adage. She might turn her anger back to you. If she knows that you know this horrible fact about HER/her life, she might distance herself from and/or shun you. Be ready for that.

I would just have a general conversation about what she thinks of the current state of her marriage and I might interject a story of some marriages that break up when the kids leave for college.

You also don't know what could happen in three years time - she could leave him, he could drop dead of a heart attack (fingers crossed), his gf could dump him (very likely), he could have a life changing epihany.. I would not fill her in with everything I heard.

I agree and thank you. I am beginning to wish I just distanced myself from this entire situation like my husband suggested. There is no silver lining here.

I am potentially tearing her life apart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

Remember the 'Don't Shoot the Messenger' adage. She might turn her anger back to you. If she knows that you know this horrible fact about HER/her life, she might distance herself from and/or shun you. Be ready for that.

I would just have a general conversation about what she thinks of the current state of her marriage and I might interject a story of some marriages that break up when the kids leave for college.

You also don't know what could happen in three years time - she could leave him, he could drop dead of a heart attack (fingers crossed), his gf could dump him (very likely), he could have a life changing epihany.. I would not fill her in with everything I heard.

I agree and thank you. I am beginning to wish I just distanced myself from this entire situation like my husband suggested. There is no silver lining here.

I am potentially tearing her life apart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My goodness.

I am not sure where some posters got that my husband asked me to abandon a friend. First of all she is a casual friend and secondly he asked me to distance myself from her and the situation not go no contact and shun her. He didn't demand that I never speak to her again. He simply told me that he was distancing himself from his coworker because he finds him disgusting and mentioned I should do the same with the situation.

She is away this week moving her oldest into college. When she returns I intend to tell her what I know, which my husband fully supports and offered to be there but I feel it is best just coming from me. While I would never turn away a friend I am also not this woman's best friend or even in her close circle so yes, I intend to distance myself from what will likely be both a volatile and hopefully private situation.

I know the relationship forum just loves to say that every husband is cheating. Thank you for your concern. My love is my best friend and a good man and I don't have a single worry or doubt.

Remember the 'Don't Shoot the Messenger' adage. She might turn her anger back to you. If she knows that you know this horrible fact about HER/her life, she might distance herself from and/or shun you. Be ready for that.

I would just have a general conversation about what she thinks of the current state of her marriage and I might interject a story of some marriages that break up when the kids leave for college.

You also don't know what could happen in three years time - she could leave him, he could drop dead of a heart attack (fingers crossed), his gf could dump him (very likely), he could have a life changing epihany.. I would not fill her in with everything I heard.