Reply to Help me navigate this childcare situation with my husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]to all of the geniuses counseling divorce, what is this woman supposed to do when ExH has the kids during his 50% of the time and is too tired to take them to daycare, forgets to help with their homework, feeds them McDonalds all weekend, skips their sports practice because its too much of a pain for him, etc etc etc.  To the OP, I would say that if you can afford it and deal with another teenager besides your husband, maybe just get an au pair so you have somebody in the house and can just walk out the door when you need to in the morning.  I've done this for 11 years now and while not optimal, my husband is the father of my kids and he is not going to do drop offs or pick ups or any other child related necessity during the week.  The au pair has kept me sane, at least.  [/quote]

Yep, this is sort of what I've come up with.  It does stick in my craw that our money has to go to extra childcare, instead of say ... decent furniture, a better emergency savings account, deferred home maintainence ... but I figure my sanity and the stability of our relationship is worth it.  And divorce would be more expensive.

For times when we don't have childcare, I pretty much just have to declare that I am leaving the house so DH has to step up.  Yes, sometimes this means ridiculousness like skipping meals, crappy meals, and really late bedtimes.  But again, the alternative does not work.

DH is slowly getting more responsible as DC gets older, which is nice.

Huge reason we stopped at 1 ... [/quote]

Same here.  We paid for extra childcare for years so DH could sleep in the morning.  It infuriates me.  But I'm not willing to throw in the towel over it. 
And sometimes he'll pick up the slack at night if I'm too tired.  But sometimes he'll go to bed at the same time as me and get up in the middle of the night to goof off.  And then be asleep when the kids wake up.  That's the worst.

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