Reply to What mattered with your kids in the long run?

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[quote=Anonymous][youtube][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Teaching them from a very young age that if everything is equal then nothing is special. That fair does not mean everyone gets the exact same thing; fair means everyone gets most of their needs met at different times and different ways.

Don't fight over food. [/quote]

Sounds like gibberish - or a convoluted excuse not to make the effort to be genuinely "fair"[/quote]

Equal is not fair.

We are not a society of animatrons Exactly. Like. One. Another.

We all have different needs.

My kids don't bean count. They don't whine about "it's not fair!" They are happy for.their siblings successes and they understand that each of them has different needs.

I have friends who jump through hoops to make sure everything is 100% equal every time.  And when shit happens and things aren't completely equal, their kid shave trouble handling it and/or mom tears herself up feeling guilty.

All of my kids get their true needs met. Their want-"needs" are all met in different ways on different timelines.

If you are making everything equal for your kids under the guise of "fairness" then you are doing them a huge disservice.[/quote]

It is interesting you say that your kids are happy about their siblings success.  I have two teenagers and I think I raised them in the same manner.  DD is very happy about brother's success and always roots for him in everything. But DS is always jealous of any of DD's success.  We praise them the same.  DS is very successfully academically whereas DD not so much.  Both successful in sports but neither a phenom.  So if you are attributing your parenting to why the kids are happy about siblings success why do you think that did not happen for me?  Really curious to hear a theory.  It saddened me that DS is not happy for any of sibling's success.  Mostly happy for friend's success unless he has some rivalry with kid.   [/quote]

Original poster here.

A lot of how kids turn out is personality driven.  Never discount personilty :)[/quote]

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