Reply to My boyfriend has a "Friend"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can certainly see why you, as his girlfriend, would be intimidated by this. However, he's been friends with her for years and you've only been in his life for a few months. I would be pretty pissed if a new boyfriend started telling me that I shouldn't be friends with my close male friends because he was concerned that our texting about work BS and Game of Thrones was a threat to our relationship.

If I wanted to text my husband about these things, I would (and do!). Doesn't change that I'm also going to talk to other people in my life that I'm close to.

I think you need to figure out what exactly bothers you so much. That he chooses to talk to her instead of you? Do you want to talk to him for 3 hours while he's driving to see you? Do you want to text him incessantly?[/quote]

I know this is my own insecurities. She is educated, I am not, she is single living extremely well(saw pictures of her home), I am back living with parents with son from previous relationship, she is well traveled, I haven't been off the east coast. I ask myself why has he picked me over her and if she isn't interested now but changes her mind and snaps her fingers does he just disappear out of my life. I feel like a second fiddle, like he settled for me cause he couldn't have her. [/quote]

Let me reframe this for you. You are a single mother who has prioritized your child over your own advancement. Without a coparent it's nearly impossible to go to college, or go globe hopping, or advance in a career. Parenting changes you and makes you grow in ways that no other experience does. I've been to college, Europe, have a decent job and none of that changed me as a person more than having kids. It's a giant leap in life experience. Plus, you're younger. That will always be an advantage you have over her.

To me this level of communication seems like they're best friends. Maybe he sees as her not relationship potential because of her age and level in the company so he feels comfortable being friends and asking for advice. Does he see her in person?  It sounds like that would be possible but it isn't happening. [/quote]

Oh yeah, tons of in person at work all day. Yes I have put my child first and that has made me have to forgo a few things in life. If I hadn't found these text I would still be blissfully enjoying this relationship with no clue of what was going on. One part of me wants to ignore it and pretend I never saw it. I am in my late 30's so not that young.[/quote]

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