Reply to S/O playdates, socializing and SES

Forum Index » DC Public and Public Charter Schools

Reply to "S/O playdates, socializing and SES"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly I have to agree with the pp. I'm an African American middle-class parent of a toddler. I'm comfortable in all settings. Yet I sometimes get the impression that some of the white families don't even try to strike up a conversation with me and my husband. My husband and I were just speaking about this the other day. Is there really such a cultural divide? I've traveled all over the world and think I have lots to say about many topics, but often find if I don't initiate the conversation it doesn't happen. Very interesting. [/quote]

This is exactly what we experience sometimes.  We are upper middle class, not wealthy.  Our DC goes to a school with parents in the same bracket or higher, and it seems the men are the friendliest, not the wives.

Every time, we get an invitation, we reply and go if possible.  Most of the time, I take our DC, not hubby b/c he works some Saturdays.  Anyway, our DC brings a gift, and we stay the duration.  Usually, we have a good time, but there are times when the white women just seem so aloof.  It's strange to me b/c I'm warm, well-rounded and educated.  I get along with the other parents, but again, it seems the men are just not racist or caught up in class.  It's puzzling, really.  My whole life I've been in diverse communities and schools.  I have a BA and MA from two of the best schools in the country, and I'm down-to-earth, and so is my husband.  We invite all of DC's friends to events and their parents, and most do come.  Yet, I don't feel that we connect as much with the wealthier whites, and it has zero to do with not having anything in common.

I wonder if the OP is not aware of her own prejudices or perhaps preconceived notions.  Maybe the other parents of lower SES feel it.  Perhaps.  I think people should just see humans as the same and not get do hung up on differences, no matter what they may be.  Our events and lives will be more diverse and better in my humble opinion.  [/quote]

Sometimes it's really less about class or SES or skin color and more about simple things... like not knowing anyone.

I always try and make an effort at birthday parties to greet everyone and ask their names and try and make some conversation, but sometimes I'm on and sometimes I'm off. And I think it's okay to be either. I don't know what I did wrong last year, as an example, but we were invited to my child's bff at school's birthday party, and we were the only white people there. I have been in that situation a ton of times. It's really not an issue for me, and I tried. But I think I did something wrong, because for the rest of the year, my daughter and the other girl begged me to arrange playdates and the other mom completely blew me off. Was it a race thing? I kinda doubt it. Was it an SES thing? Again, I doubt it. I think it was one of the intangibles and I don't know what. It's still kind of a bummer, but... whatever. You can only try so much.

Just... not everything is about race or class. Nor are race or class as much of a big deal as so many here seem to make them.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics