Reply to S/O playdates, socializing and SES

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread is somewhat amusing. I particularly love the low income moms replies and agree with a lot of what she says (although we are not low income now, both DH and I grew up that way). [b]I'm also curious as to how previous posters know what other people's SES is[/b], or are people just assuming these families are low income? People assume all of the time that our family is low income, and quite frankly I believe it's because [b]we are young minorities, and, outside of work, have a more "urban" way of dressing.[/b] In all other respects we're pretty DCUM average. What's funny is the moment I open my mouth, white/ high income individuals seem to be taken aback by the fact that I'm actually articulate. They're even more surprised when/if they ever make it to my house. Maybe people are not coming to your parties because of the deeper assumptions you are making about who they are; their level of income, language and other abilities. [/quote]

I think you answered your own question.  We are also a minority family (I'll say black or Latino), and I commented earlier in the thread that I'm sure people make assumptions about us too.  My husband is typically dressed down at dropoff and pickup (hoodies, sweats, etc.) but is actually a physician with a pretty rarefied upbringing (elite boarding schools & universities).  You wouldn't know at first glance, though.[/quote]

But inquiring minds want to know: do you go to playdates and birthday parties at the white kids' houses?  If not, why not?[/quote]

I'm the second quoted PP above (black or Latino minority family with husband in hoodies).  In our case, it's not really a question of race, but IB/OOB.  We live in a neighborhood that is pretty exclusively middle/high SES, and we have playdates (at home, events, plays, etc.) or run into other families of all backgrounds at the playground fairly often.  However, we have not yet had playdates with or been invited to many bday parties with OOB classmates, who in our case are both white and minority, and both low and middle/high SES.  Makes me think next year that we should reach out more.[/quote]

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