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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Helicopter much, PP? I'm surprised parents would get this involved unless it's a really big issue like bullying. This is one strange area. I do know of parents who have asked that friends be separated because they get too silly together and can distract eachother and the rest of the class but that's different.[/quote]

It sounds like OP's child IS being bullied.[/quote]

All this does is 1) enable the pest to bother someone else and 2) turn OP's kid into a weak, entitled child who will never learn to fight his/her battles.

Soon, OP's kid will develop anxiety and school phobia b/c s/he hasn't learned to defend him/herself.

have seen it many times

too many helicopters 
[/quote]

Says the mom of the bully who thinks mean girls are cute.

My son was bullied by a jock kid in 6th grade. The jock got in trouble at lunch and assigned to my kid's table where he and all his good friends sat.  Jock/bully proceded to quietly and sneakily work his way as alpha male for the group and systematically isolating my son.  The other kids were nice but as one tood my son at the end of the year "I am really sorryI went along with Jock Bully but if you weren't there to be picked on he would pick on me."

In the semester of the lunchtime bully, my kind, gentle, confident, funny and outgoing child became withdrawn, sad, down on himself, isolated and a bit of a loaner. This is my kid who made friend the first time he met a person, had a broad social group, was well liked and respected by peers and an overall kind and great kid.

Two years later, my son is now an introvert. He tries to blend in, is hesitant to start conversations with people, and has low confidence levels. The only plus side to the bullying (and there is s plus) is that he is very quick to stand up and intervene when someone is getting bullied, be it the quirky outcast or the beautiful smart girl that the mean girls are jealous of. He has developed a knack of knowing when to say something directly to the bully, when to mention it to a teacher on the side, and when to say something to me and ask me to reach out to a counselor. It is in those moment where I see a brief glimpse of my vivacious, confident son.

So yes, you touch base with the school when your child lets you know that bullying (and not just kid fighting...there is a difference) is going on. Reach out before it becomes a real problem.

My kid did not share it with us until it had been going on for months snd tue end of the school year was just right around the corner. At that point, he was having upset stomachs, did not want to go to school, and would not eat lunch at school (would leave it in his backpack) because one of Jock Bully's favorite pastimes was stealing his lunch and eating all the good stuff then sitting on his sandwich before tossing it back to him.

If only we had known sooner, we could have had that kid moved clear across the cafeteria and perhaps have gotten him some time in the principals or counselors office.  If we had known sooner and spoken up sooner, our kid would not have been changed so drastically or dealt with the long term fall out.

Bullying does not have to be physical to cause long term, life changing damage to a kid.  In fact, physical bullying is often easier to deal with because it gets instant and dramatic reactions from the adult in charge. Emotional bullying will change a kid forever.

OP, reach out to the teacher and principal. You won't regret it, but you will regret your daughter being bullied for another school year.[/quote]

You wrote a novella that completely supported the point I made in my post - [quote]Soon, OP's kid will develop anxiety and school phobia b/c s/he hasn't learned to defend him/herself. [/quote]

I am not a heartless bitch.  In fact, my daughter has stood up to bullies in both ES and MS in order to protect some vulnerable kids.

You, however,  failed to 1) recognizes changes in your own child, which isn't hard to do and 2) failed to equip him with skills to protect himself.  Kids need to be taught to stand up to bullies.  And bullies - who are bullied at home - need supports to help reverse the damages done to them.

It's not as simple as changes lunch tables or keeping the kids physically separated.  band aid approach at best

[/quote]

It is very clear you have absolutely no understanding of bullying.

Kids will try to handle things themselves. Kids want to handle it themselves.  But when they reach the poi t where they csnnot, the damage to their overall well being are dramatic and painful.

Changes to the behavior of a preteen or teen are very common due to puberty.

In our case, our kid was still socializing actively with his circle of friends. And when they were hanging out, everything was normal.  The bully was never part of any socializing, so none of the bullying behaviors occured anywhere wher any of the parents could see it.

Our kid was very good at hiding that sokething was going on, and was in his own way trying to stand up to the bulky on his own...until he couldn't.

My kid was fortunate to have strong self esteem. Many kids don't and those are the ones that end up suicidal or damaging themselves through behaviors like cutting.

You can give a kid all the tools in the world to be their own person, stand up for themselves during times of injustice, and to avoid bullying, but when fsced with sneaky, underhand bullying by someone bigger thsn you, stronger than you, more popular than you, who has a host of minnion followers, doing so on your own without adult help is damn near impossible, even for the strongest and most independent of kids. The switch that is flipped between the time a kid can handle it on his own, and the limit of when they no longer can is sudden and can cause a desperation and a lot of sadness. 
  
You are sanctimonious, know it all, and smug, and also very ill informed and very very wrong.

You obviously have absolutely no experience with bullyimg, except perhaps on the side of being one of the bullies.

Clearly, yur kids have not been bullied...yet.  Middle and High School social media bullying is horrific. You better hope that your child does not face it in the future, especially with your unhelpful attitude of no adult intervention necessary.

Shame on you for your smugness over something you have zero understanding about.
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