Reply to Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?

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Reply to "Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think men are different from women. [b]Digging deep just may not be possible in the same way it is for us[/b]. Where does that leave us? I don't know. He is who he is - take it or leave it. So sorry you are all going through this. I just don't know what I would do. Divorce is awful for kids. I was a child of divorce myself.[/quote]

There is some truth to this.

OP, I could be your husband.  I had about a year long affair about 6 years ago.  Affair ended.  Wife never found out.  We are very happily married although I know many people here will dispute that is possible.

If you ask me candidly why did I do it, there was no existential reason - it was a combination of lack of sex in the marriage which comes standard with young kids, and wanting to feel desired again - something other than duty sex.  I found another woman in a similar situation and we went for it.  I liked and cared for my AP and I am sure some emails will be really hurtful if read today, but it wasn't some deep love affair.

There is no digging I could do, after the fact.  I gave in to the same desires I have always had, that don't magically go away when marriage comes.  It really was as simple as: beautiful available woman, penis took charge, lonely at home = affair.  Its not a pathology.  Men seem to understand this.

Good luck to you.[/quote]

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