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[quote=Anonymous]I've been thinking about this a lot lately and my current stance is no, I wouldn't. This is mainly due to our circumstances though. I could see how people who had a close and loving relationship with their parents would gladly repay the favor. It just doesn't work for us.

My family has always been on the more dysfunctional side. While my parents always kept us kids clothed and fed, our emotional needs were never really taken care of. Over the years, my relationship to my parents has only deteriorated. Especially my mother is a very demanding, judgmental and toxic person. Taking her in would put a huge strain on me, which I'm not equipped to deal with. My father would probably be less stressful to deal with, but we're so distant, I feel no more than a financial obligation to him either. I feel guilty about sounding so callous, but I keep reminding myself that our relationship is what it is and they're not going to change.

My FIL is a different topic. He's very pleasant to be around and we've actually had him live with us for a few months when I was pregnant, while he was still looking for a new appartment. However, he is fully self-sufficient. If he was in need of special or round-the-clock care, I'm not sure I'd take it on for a longer period of time either. Part of that is due to having an infant at home, part of it is just me not having a caretaker personality at all. I'd rather leave their care to a knowledgeable professional who will definitely be better at it than I could be.

Growing up, my mother took on most of the elderly care load for her parents. They used to live close to where we did and not a day went by when she didn't take care of them. She always prioritized being a daughter over being a mother and made it clear that her parents came before her kids. This fostered some resentment in me and my siblings. I never saw it as a "great lesson of humanity" as much as a burden I didn't sign up for.

I guess it has shaped me into putting being a good mother over being a good daughter. Taking care of my daughter comes first and while I'll gladly go by my parents for social visits now and then and take over some of the slack from my sister, I will not put my life on hold to provide for them 24/7. [/quote]

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