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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let's have an honest discussion. I think spanking is wrong. I think it can damage kids and cause distrust. More broadly, i believe (and i think some studies have shown) that demonstrating the resolution of problems, or enforcement of boundaries / one's wishes greatly contributes to a world where our impulses are to shove, punch, bully, murder, execute, and nuke one another into submission. At the same time, I can't even with these people who say EVERY child will respond well to positive reinforcement only and that anyone whose child doesn't respond isn't doing it right. i know spanking is wrong, and yet i don't have a foolproof substitute! 
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Why would it damage kids and cause distrust any more than any other punishment? I'm up for a civil discussion. My assessment is that it all depends on how it's explained and implemented.[/quote]

Yay for civility!

I don't think that every spanking causes lasting, irreversable, major damage to children but i'd be willing to bet that the way most people are doing it does some damage, the way most people are doing it and the way they THINK they are doing it is probably a good deal different, and also that even the most benign instance is still carrying the capability to cause some damage. Why? Well, there are probably numerous studies that lay out why it does damage, but to me the duty of a parent to protect child from harm, and the need for the child to 100 percent feel physically safe with the parent is sacrosanct. Every time you spank, you're eroding that trust just a little bit, even temporarily. While there are certainly lots of ways to undo trust that do not involve parents striking and intentionally inflicting physical pain on the child, I don't think these are okay, either. I think there is probably a continuum where on one end you get the parent fluttering around trying to lovingly redirect where there is minimal harm done in the immediate sense (but depending on the circumstance if the kid isn't really getting any discipline and boundaries some lifelong consequences there too) to severe emotional abuse or physical abuse being on the other side of the continuum. I'm talking about child abuse there. Spanking, to me, has more in common with the abuse because at the end of the day, no matter how well intentioned, it is the trusted parent figure that is intentionally causing physical pain, there is a great risk of a breach opening up.

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