Reply to DH's ex wife constantly asks him for money

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I posted yesterday that the OP needed to just leave it alone, and I stand by that.

Yes, it is OP's business. Yes, it sucks to have no input. I don't disagree with that. I also think that sitting down with your husband and talking about a budget - generally - could prevent this issue.

Really, though, there is almost nothing that the OP can say in this situation that isn't going to make her seem pretty awful, at which point her husband is in a really terrible place between his bitchy ex-wife who blames him for her bad decisions and his bitchy new wife who blames him for caving to his bitchy ex-wife.

It matters how much money is being requested. The differential incomes also matters. My ex pays child support that we agreed on when we got divorced. If our daughter also needs something else expensive, he usually pays for that as well. Why? He makes 2x as much as I do. A $500 ballet class for me is saving money for several months. The same class, for him, barely registers as an expense.

Maybe his new wife is not happy that when it is time to register DD for ballet, I call him and ask if he will pay the bill. [b]The thing is, his child support is supposed to cover her basic needs - shelter, food, clothing[/b]. Extracurricular expenses are not usually considered in the list of basic needs. If there is a disconnect between the OP, her husband, and her husband's ex about what the child needs, then that is a different conversation.[/quote]

Lawyer here and that's actually not true in VA.  If you read the reports and analysis from the child support guidelines review committee as well as case law the child support amount (including the contributions from both parents) is intended to cover everything except for daycare and medical bills.  [/quote]

In Md and my kid's speech therapy wasn't even considered. I was awarded under $1,000/month for three kids and told I had to pay his $100/hr speech therapy out of pocket (not covered by insurance, not considered a medical expense) and then go to the court for reimbursement. There was no way I could afford that! I never asked for alimony and the child support award was so below what we needed.

As far as OP, obviously, it depends a lot on the dynamics and the amounts involved. Part of the problem is you married a man who had already made certain decisions. So if he and his exwife believe in funding horseback riding or private high-level music or a star tennis coach, that commitment was made before you arrived on the scene. I think if you can't agree on the extras, you should separate your funding from your spouse's. I think the poster who wrote about the friend who divorced over the man's generosity to his grown kids is just a sad, sad situation. [/quote]

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