Reply to Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I am quite close friends with a number of attractive men.  At moments, I am attracted to them, but I don't see why that would stop us from being friends.  I think it's a good thing that human beings can find each other attractive, including sexually attractive, and appreciate each other in that way, without acting on it.  My is a friendship only real if it is wholly lacking any sexual tension?   Not to stereotype too much,  but that feels like a very American approach. Why would it be hard for men and women to appreciate each other as sexually attractive beings  while feeling affection, trust and loyalty toward each other?   I don't feel any desire to commit to an exclusive sexual relationship with all of my attractive, male friends. I make that choice with one person, my husband.  That doesn't mean I am blind, nor should I be.  That doesn't invalidate actual friendship.[/quote]

This.  Why does finding someone attractive mean you can't really be friends with them?  I have male friends who are very attractive, but since I don't express or act on feelings of attraction to men other than my husband, it doesn't matter.  Eventually, the attraction really takes a backseat to the other things that I like and appreciate about them.  Plus, it feels really weird to think about sleeping with a friend, like, it's not even really a great fantasy.  Also, just because someone is really good-looking doesn't mean I want to sleep with them.  You can appreciate their looks without feeling sexually attracted.

If the only reason you spend time with someone is because you find them attractive and you're always hoping to get into their pants, yeah, you're never really going to be friends with them.  But if you spend time with them because you enjoy their company, conversation, wit, kindness, intelligence, etc., the fact that they area good-looking doesn't negate your friendship.  [/quote]

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