Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about the woman, but I know what the man is thinking about. I'm a guy and I do feel women can be friends with a man but the man usually has one thing in mind. If he wants a friend, there are many guys out there or he can get a dog

yeah, this guy is right.

- another guy

14:54 here.

How do your wives, mothers, and daughters feel about your low opinion of women?

You are missing the point. It's not guys have low opinion of women. Guys are just wired differently than women.

Guy here. Agree. It is not disrespect...just biological and laws of nature at play. Man is always in pursuit of the opposite sex.

I don't understand how it's not disrespectful to say that women rank below dogs in their value as a friend.

As for your second point about biology and the laws of nature. There is no natural law that says that your impulse to have sex with anyone you find attractive makes it impossible for you to be friends with that person. Why is that?

That is quite a leap. Drama much?

--np

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a "beautiful woman" and I have a number of close male friends. If they think about having sex with me, they've certainly never made that known to me. I think that several of them are quite attractive, but I don't want to sleep with every attractive person I see.

My question is how sex gets in the way of you being friends with someone? Is it the hope that maybe she will want to have sex with you at some point? Are you unable to recognize her positive traits that are not related to her sexual desirability?

You're not friends with these men. You're merely acquaintances, so it's not a problem for anybody.

Did you miss the part where she said "a number of close male friends?"

I didn't believe it. You're either not as universally attractive as you think, or you're not as close with these men as you claim. Unless they're gay. Or eunichs.

Anonymous wrote: I am quite close friends with a number of attractive men. At moments, I am attracted to them, but I don't see why that would stop us from being friends. I think it's a good thing that human beings can find each other attractive, including sexually attractive, and appreciate each other in that way, without acting on it. My is a friendship only real if it is wholly lacking any sexual tension? Not to stereotype too much, but that feels like a very American approach. Why would it be hard for men and women to appreciate each other as sexually attractive beings while feeling affection, trust and loyalty toward each other? I don't feel any desire to commit to an exclusive sexual relationship with all of my attractive, male friends. I make that choice with one person, my husband. That doesn't mean I am blind, nor should I be. That doesn't invalidate actual friendship.

This. Why does finding someone attractive mean you can't really be friends with them? I have male friends who are very attractive, but since I don't express or act on feelings of attraction to men other than my husband, it doesn't matter. Eventually, the attraction really takes a backseat to the other things that I like and appreciate about them. Plus, it feels really weird to think about sleeping with a friend, like, it's not even really a great fantasy. Also, just because someone is really good-looking doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. You can appreciate their looks without feeling sexually attracted.

If the only reason you spend time with someone is because you find them attractive and you're always hoping to get into their pants, yeah, you're never really going to be friends with them. But if you spend time with them because you enjoy their company, conversation, wit, kindness, intelligence, etc., the fact that they area good-looking doesn't negate your friendship.

this makes me glad, for a change, that I'm plain.

Anonymous wrote:I work with a hot guy. We have chemistry. I can no longer bring myself to look him in the eye. He is so outrageously beautiful. If we had a physical relationship it would be wrong on all levels. Being near his is absolute torture. If he were not so hot we'd be great friends, but the sexual tension is thoroughly in thr way and preventing a friendship. I wish he were gay.

+1. Same here. I don't know if it is pheromones, chemistry, karma, etc. but it is absolute torture. I wish we could be friends. He's not gay so I try to avoid him as much as possible which isn't easy since we work together. Sigh.

I work with a hot guy. We have chemistry. I can no longer bring myself to look him in the eye. He is so outrageously beautiful. If we had a physical relationship it would be wrong on all levels. Being near his is absolute torture. If he were not so hot we'd be great friends, but the sexual tension is thoroughly in thr way and preventing a friendship. I wish he were gay.

I have numerous friends that are hotter than hell. Being married in an open relationship aside, there are friendships I wouldn't jeopardize- so yes.

Anonymous wrote:I have been and truly can be sincere friends with a woman who is not so hot in the looks department. However, I am unable to be the same friend to a woman who is attractive. The sex part always gets in the way. To women and men alike, can you be a true friend to someone you find physically attractive?

Yes, I think it's possible. I read a story once written by a guy whose wife had died of cancer. He said she was beautiful, as in constantly got hassled by guys. However, his best friend (male) never looked at her that way. The husband talked about how he'd seen his friend look at her and look down, he'd watched him and knew he could trust him. In the end the best friend moved in with them to help as she was dying. It was a really beautiful story.

I could, but it would be unrequited love on the male's part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% of guys "think" about it but 99% of guys DON"T act on it.

Yes. I'd say pretty much all men, when meeting or in the company of a woman, are mentally cataloging how much they'd like to have sex with them. In the case of extremely attractive women I'd guess that...while sex might not be an option, it's still a big distraction for a guy.

Anyway ladies, just so there's no confusion...yes your "guy friends" are imagining you naked and writhing beneath them. It's true. But as the PP said 99% will keep this to themselves.

Tee hee.

I had a really good friend for about 15 years who was gorgeous, I knew what a absolute slut she was so I stood clear.

One of my wife's really good friends that I also consider a great friend is stunning but I have no romantic/sexual attraction to her. She is not my type, and in more ways than just physically.

Maybe, if he is blind or gay.

I do think this is sexism at work. Find a friend attractive? I'm sure they do. Allow that to prevent a friendship? Wtf! My husband's female friends are basically all, without exception, very attractive. I am also friendly with them. WHY WOULD THIS PREVENT HIM FROM ENJOYING THEIR FRIENDSHIP AMD VARIOUS OTHER QUALITIES? I just don't get it. His penis does not rule him. He can "trust himself" around them. Seriously, wth? Men can only be friends with unattractive women? If anything, I take this as a compliment to my own looks and the solidity of our relationship.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about the woman, but I know what the man is thinking about. I'm a guy and I do feel women can be friends with a man but the man usually has one thing in mind. If he wants a friend, there are many guys out there or he can get a dog

I agree with this. I can not be friends with a woman I think is attractive. And I am happily married.

no. don't be naive.