Reply to Coworker using phrase "let me ask this again" when asking me about work topics

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Reply to "Coworker using phrase "let me ask this again" when asking me about work topics - how to best deal?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After responding she continues to use the phrase "let me ask this again", maybe I am reading this wrong but is this a rude way of assuming I am not understanding what she is asking for? This keeps coming up after I respond multiple times to her questions. I am not trying to cause confrontation but could I be misinterpreting her tone on this one?[/quote]

I think it depends on the delivery. I wouldn't assume rudeness, though, and probably wouldn't leap to a rude response.

I've used this phrase occasionally with a member of my team, although I usually preface it with, "maybe I'm not being clear...". I'm not trying to be rude, I'm acknowledging that we are not in sync with our communication, so let's clear it up. This particular team member will give me a 2 minute explanation for everything related to her work, except the question I asked. I don't assume bad intentions on her part for not answering my question. However, I still need my question answered, so clearly, we need to rephrase the conversation. My boss, who is direct to the point of being terse, will tell me "that's not what I asked" or "that's not what I need to know" if I don't answer her questions correctly. Do I find her rude? No, she's just direct and is trying to get us on the same page.

Communication is an imperfect thing, complicated by the rush to judge intentions and tones. Next time it happens, OP, try to avoid jumping to conclusions and simply ask clearly and politely what she means. Your work life will be a lot less stressful if you don't ascribe rudeness to exchanges with her and just strive for clarity. Good luck.'
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