Reply to H threw potful of dirty dishwater on my before work today

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I just read this thread thru and your situation really resonates with me.  I'm near the end of a long divorce process from a man like your husband.  In fact he threw a glass of water on me at our marriage counseling session.  He has an anger problem and loses jobs frequently tho he always seems to bounce back and is highly paid.

Anyway...what I wish I'd known back when I was where you are is that these arguments are not worth engaging in.  I was always so anxious to defend my position against his hostile accusations.  Totally pointless; he will never see your side, or if he does it will only be fleeting.  As a few previous posters have said, you need to disengage totally.  Just walk away from his anger.  If he follows you ranting (as my ex did), just go into the bathroom where you can expect privacy, or else leave the house if you need to.  Stay calm at all times, don't let him goad you into responding, you will just set yourself back.

In the long term, you will need to separate, maybe divorce eventually but at least separate now so you both can get perspective.  Divorce is not a silver bullet, believe me.  As long as you have kids you will never really be free of him, and think carefully whether any of your relationship is salvageable before you go for divorce.  For me, while I know it was the right thing, the process is utterly wrenching and a year after we started the process I'm still a mess.[/quote]

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