Reply to DD caught me with AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have friends who have caught their parents with APs like this and it really screwed them up. They never felt okay in future relationships and had commitment phobia. One said it was the shock that her parent's stable marriage was[b] all a lie[/b]. She didn't think anyone could be faithful in a marriage. [/quote]

I doubt it was ALL a lie. There were lies, but most was probably true and some was lies. [/quote]

To a child, it makes them feel like everything stable and everything they thought they knew about their parents (and mother in particular) was a lie. Kids don't shrug their shoulders over this. It's a terribly betrayal.  My father did something similar.  There are 3 of us kids and none of us have a relationship with him. When their marriage fell apart, we fiercely protected and sided with our mother. His flagrant affair cost him his children.  Obviously, it is not only the affair that destroyed our relationship, but anyone who does something like that, has serious character flaws that permeate their entire lives.[/quote]

I agree that he has character flaws that he decided not to address. If the OP addresses her character flaws she can probably salvage her relationship with her daughter.

I am not saying it is not a punch to the stomach. But a family can get through this with counseling. Your father sounds like he took no responsibility in the matter and the result is kids that don't have a relationship with him. [/quote]

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