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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A marriage is about families coming together. Invite everyone to the same events, and figure out how to include the most important elements for you and your fiancé. [/quote]

This.  I am a 1st generation American with parents from India; DH's family is "UK mutt", though primarily identifies as Irish.  ILs were less finicky than yours, but DH was very sensitive to no one feeling uncomfortable.  We basically picked and chose the parts we liked, though for us it was important to have a single ceremony that reflected both cultures.  We served plated Indian and "western" food (basically had Indian as one of the options along with chicken and fish, etc).  Guests wore whatever they wanted.

If your ILs and parents are both adamant about food, I do like the lunch and dinner option...though it gets to be a long day.  Whatever you do, make sure you are happy with the event you plan.  And definitely invite both families to all events...they really should get to appreciate each other's cultures.  And finally, watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" a few times and have some laughs :)[/quote]

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