Anonymous wrote:OP.

We made our decision after discussion with both sides of parents.

Here's some answers to questions:

re: BG paying for guest hotel rooms; I said we can't afford to put everyone up with shelter because some PP had suggested that for our out of town guests who happen to be FI's family members

re: Chinese vs. American food; The catering style is so different it's not just a matter of food, it's completely different color scheme for decoration, diff. customs and traditions for how receiving line is done, and how pictures are done. It doesn't work to incorporate it together.

Final verdict:

We're having 2 receptions. Both families are invited to All events. Whoever wants to pay for hotel rooms are welcomed to do so at their own expense.

Church and western style reception Saturday will consist of a Catholic church ceremony at 1pm. Pictures to follow between 3-4:30. 5pm Cocktail hour at a hotel we decided on this weekend (awaiting booking confirmation and deposit) Reception from 6-11:30pm.

Sunday at 4pm will be traditional Chinese tea ceremony including the whole shebang of qipao, gold jewelry exchange, red envelop collection, tea pouring for parentals and elders, and will cap the night off with traditional Chinese fanfare of red lanterns, gold and silver colored decor, orchids for floral arrangements, and traditional 12 course dinner.

Monday = We are sleeping all day!

We have booked both venues, but waiting for confirmation on hotel. We have found our florist, and now I just need to get my act together for several dresses and bridesmaids dress shopping!

Anonymous wrote:OP.

We made our decision after discussion with both sides of parents.

Here's some answers to questions:

re: BG paying for guest hotel rooms; I said we can't afford to put everyone up with shelter because some PP had suggested that for our out of town guests who happen to be FI's family members

re: Chinese vs. American food; The catering style is so different it's not just a matter of food, it's completely different color scheme for decoration, diff. customs and traditions for how receiving line is done, and how pictures are done. It doesn't work to incorporate it together.

Final verdict:

We're having 2 receptions. Both families are invited to All events. Whoever wants to pay for hotel rooms are welcomed to do so at their own expense.

Church and western style reception Saturday will consist of a Catholic church ceremony at 1pm. Pictures to follow between 3-4:30. 5pm Cocktail hour at a hotel we decided on this weekend (awaiting booking confirmation and deposit) Reception from 6-11:30pm.

Sunday at 4pm will be traditional Chinese tea ceremony including the whole shebang of qipao, gold jewelry exchange, red envelop collection, tea pouring for parentals and elders, and will cap the night off with traditional Chinese fanfare of red lanterns, gold and silver colored decor, orchids for floral arrangements, and traditional 12 course dinner.

Monday = We are sleeping all day!

We have booked both venues, but waiting for confirmation on hotel. We have found our florist, and now I just need to get my act together for several dresses and bridesmaids dress shopping!

Anonymous wrote:OP.

The major difference is that both parentals are adamant about food.

Chinese side has a lot of cultural dishes, and a very different serving style. The PP who has attended a chinese wedding reception probably understands what I mean. There's usually 12 dishes over 4-5 courses, and the festivities are very different. The ILs are also expected to gift jewelry of gold and/or diamonds to the bride. I do NOT want to ask or even bring this up with my future ILs.

Caucasian side has a lot of traditional polish food the ILs would like to see represented and serve, and adamant about plating everything.

To the PP who asked how our marriage and raising kids would work out? Well for starters my BF and I are in agreement about everything when it comes to having a family. We will honor both sides of our roots and the future kids will know about the Polish and Chinese traditions that are important to us. Both sets of parentals are on board with the marriage and wedding and has no reservations.

We cannot afford to pay for hotel rooms for the guests from out of town. It's just no in the budget. Discounted rate for a hotel would be possible if we have a hotel reception. We have discussed the idea of venues other than hotel though such as a winery or a old mansion that can cater food and host the reception. We have also considered locations closer to a midway point for the 2 families, but honestly the mid point is in the middle of Bumblefuckistan so it's not going to happen.

Anonymous wrote:Omg, I would just find a nice beach somewhere and elope.

Anonymous wrote:A marriage is about families coming together. Invite everyone to the same events, and figure out how to include the most important elements for you and your fiancé.

Anonymous wrote:I'm Indian and DH is white, but generic WASP so no particular cultural affiliation or preference. My parents paid for everything (including hotel rooms for out of town guests) and so we just had an Indian ceremony but everyone really got into it and enjoyed themselves. Some things were important to DH's family like his brother and best man making a speech so we incorporated that stuff in. The Indians all wore traditional wear and the regular guests wore western clothes, though a lot of our younger friends bought Indian clothes online and wore those.

Lots of things we did give up though, like the gift giving part where DH's family would give me jewelry etc. So strictly speaking it wasn't really an Indian wedding, only nominally so. But no matter, it was a great couple of days.

Anonymous wrote:Please don't use the word "Caucasian." It needs to be retired like Mongolian and Negro.