Reply to Found out that BIL was badly abused as a child and I don't think that my sister knows it

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Reply to "Found out that BIL was badly abused as a child and I don't think that my sister knows it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, this is not your news to share.  Even if it is true, it is your BIL's life experience, and wholly up to him to decide whom to share it with and how.  He was a victim, not a perpetrator, and you have not provided any reason whatsoever to conclude that he has or would do anything wrong.  And you haven't said anything indicating your sister or BIL has bad judgment.  So, if he has chosen not to tell her about horrible life experiences, or if she as his wife has chosen not to violate his trust by telling you, follow their lead.  This is absolutely none of your business.  In any event, I'd never choose to tell someone like you a private matter as it seems you wear as a badge of honor that you don't respect privacy, but rather feel it is your duty to decide what is best for everyone else based on what you think is best for you.

Further, you will likely be putting your sister in a bad position.  Either she would need to bring this topic into her marriage, which it seems her husband (the VICTIM) has chosen not to, or she could choose not to tell him what she has heard, and go through life knowing there is something she's not sharing with her husband.  Given that you think it would be so awful for you not to share everything with your sister, just imagine how she would feel knowing something that, out of love for her husband, she could not tell him she has learned?  [/quote]  +1000[/quote]

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