Reply to Anyone else ever feel just, plain sad that they got divorced?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in the process of divorce, and I am often sad as well.  I wish I had stood up for my needs sooner and communicated more, maybe things would  be different (unlikely).  I am sad for my kids.  I am sad because I didn't expect this for myself (does anyone?).  But...I know some things would never change.  He would always be a bully.  He would never pull his weight.  And I have learned to mostly approach the situation with an open heart and a sense of empathy for how severely emotionally f*ed up he is.   So...I try to find the good in each day and when he is being bitter and spiteful I take a breath and remember that he just doesn't know any better.  I look forward to my kids seeing me happy and healthy surrounded by friends and family who care.  [/quote]

I wish I could say the same.  My ex was emotionally abusive to me but successful; I initiated after years of trying so hard to stop the fighting, we went to counseling for years, nothing helped.  Now I'm separated 14 months, agreement is signed, and I can't seem to stop obsessing over him.  I don't want him back so it's something else that I can't figure out.  I keep thinking about him with the new girlfriend, every aspect keeps running through my head and can't stop, check email constantly for emails/texts from him about kids/dog/money, anything, and am thrilled when I get one, deeply depressed when there's not. I can't move away because my son is in high school and it would be cruel to wrench him away, but I also can't move and let my husband have full custody because I would be crushed without my son so I'm trapped here.  Therapy hasn't helped, they just say stop talking to him, but we have too many things we have to stay in touch about with custody, dog, alimony, child support, who pays what, weekly doctor appointments for son, etc etc.  What the h... is wrong with me?  Why can't I be rational and happily single like everyone is telling me I should be by now?  [/quote]

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