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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I very recently welcomed a beautiful new daughter into our family. We have a 2.5 yo DD as well.

My parents, who live in the Midwest (10 hours away) have been out here twice since the birth to help/visit, and are planning to come again in the late spring/early summer for the baptism. They are retired, have no pets or major obligations, and are in decent health, except for the fact that my mom recently had eye surgery, and can't drive. (No problem, my dad likes to drive.)

My ILs, who live 3 hours away, have been out here once since the birth to help/visit. They are retired, have no pets or major obligations, and are in decent health. But they have said that--now that they visited once for the birth--it's time for us to visit them. They expect a we visit/they visit dynamic from here on out, because "[b]they are so busy [/b]and don't want to drive so much."

Keep in mind, our house has ample space for guests; when they visit, they have their own room and own bathroom. And it's just two of them. When WE visit them, the four of us will have to cram down in their unfinished basement living room on a pull-out couch, with barely any space for a Pack and Play. It's always freezing down there. And there is one bathroom/shower for all of us. Plus the drive, and we work. (I go back in a few weeks, and of course will have NO time off whatsoever because of maternity leave.)

My DH and I are trying to decide whether we should put our foot down on this one, and ask them to visit us a few more times, until the baby is a bit older and sleeping through the night. And even then, we won't be making the trip to see them as frequently as we used to. (Used to be about six times a year, now we're thinking twice a year.) We think it will be worth the "fight"; MIL is not going to take this one lying down. She likes us to be there so she can "show us off" at their church.

They are welcome to come visit us; that is not a problem. We are good hosts who clean, cook and don't ask for help watching the kids. We always take them out to dinner or treat them to take-out. We're not trying to avoid them, we just think it's easier for us to host and for them to travel. Do you think this is fair? [/quote]

My fully retired MIL pulls this and it drives me NUTS. I commute, work, and raise two kids alone (her son left).  She loves to see her grandkids but is constantly whining about how hard it is on HER because she is so busy.  (She likes to watch late movies and sleep until 10:30 AM - I'm up at 5 daily).

That's fine, do what you want, hey you're retired, you earned your R&R.  But man I resent hearing about how busy she is.

I think one's concept of time and ability to mutiltask/juggle/do more changes with retirement.  You just get used to not fitting as much into a day.

Like the old adage says, "if you want something done, give it to a busy person".  Def. not a retired person - with all the time in the world on their hands, from where I'm sitting.....

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EXACTLY. My IL's are like, "OMG CHURCH CHOIR." Like it's a huge deal if their large choir is without one alto and one bass for ONE SUNDAY SERVICE.[/quote]

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