Reply to Neighborhood kids destroying our house

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Neighborhood kids destroying our house"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had those neighbor kids. They broke so many toys-- with us watching in the same room.   We had to start turning them away (also, parents were taking advantage of the free babysitting) and eventually, it stopped.  We don't let them in our home- only outside play.  You are the adult, you are in control.  [/quote]

I am going to decline 100% of the time and hopefully they will get the hint. [b]They are everywhere though - school, our community pool, after school activities, school events, etc. etc. etc.[/b][/quote]

OP, I think a lot of posters are missing your follow-up posts that indicate this larger issue. This isn't just about these kids destroying your child's Lego creation this one time, or otherwise being destructive of property when in your house. That's just a part of a larger issue which is a [i]family[/i] that wants more time and more attention from you than you want to give and that also sees whenever you come and go from your house and expects you to be OK with all the "are you home yet" texts etc. You said earlier that the adults seem to want to cultivate a friendship with you and your spouse. Plus you will run into them everywhere all the time so just blowing them off entirely isn't possible (unless you want cold-shoulder adult drama at every pool trip and every school play, and I'm sure you don't).

I feel for you. It's tough when a kid's friend's parents want to befriend you and you don't click but they don't see it.

If you haven't yet given the other adults a chance, or spent much time trying to see if they [i]could[/i] actually be good friends to you and your spouse -- maybe give it a try since you might be missing out on a real friendship. If you have already tried that and truly feel you have a good basis for knowing you don't want these neighbors/fellow school parents as your own friends -- then you'll need to Be Too Busy: "Yes, I'm home, but we've got plans." "Thanks for the invitation but Johnny can't play right now. He's got a lot going on this week. Maybe next week?" And so on. I would not cut your son off from these other kids completely if they're OK kids when outside, but I'd use the "only outside" rule. And as for his going over to their house where they play endless video games, I'd simply tell the other parents that your child can only stay X amount of time, and tell your son that any screen time at other kids' houses counts toward his total screen time, period. And I wouldn't let him go over more than once a week, if he's going to do nothing there but play video games.

Tread with some care. I'd try to stay cordial with this family since you and they will see each other a lot and everywhere and it is good to have neighbors you know well enough to help each other out at times. We've had next door neighbors who were not truly friends of ours (different interests, different outlooks, etc.) but we were all cordial and helpful with each other as neighbors -- if a kid needed a ride to school but the parents' car wasn't working, they could ask us for a ride and knew it would be OK, and vice versa. I even borrowed their car twice when mine had issues, and my husband drove the wife to doctor's appointments a few times. But I admit, that family was not texting me eagerly to see if I was around for their kid to play with ours daily--that would have driven me a bit nuts. In your case, I'd show that I'm open to some outdoor play dates and occasional video gaming at their house, and I'd talk with the adults mostly about school and the pool etc. and nothing personal. I hope that they'd get the hint eventually about the level of relationship you're willing to have.
[/quote]

OP here. Thank you for listening. DH has a demanding job, likes his downtime and has zero interest in any relationship with this family. DH is not the type to chit chat. I'm more friendly and social than DH. The family is probably taking my politeness and think I like them more than I actually do. I was eager to get to know them since we live in the same neighborhood and our kids attend the same school. Now that I have gotten to know them, I want to keep my distance.

Once school it back in session, it should be easier to avoid play dates. I will continue being civil when I see them around.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics