Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm clearly new to this because my kid is only 4, but when I read DESTROYING, SMASHING, BREAKING I thought things were actually being ruined -- not assembled legos being taken apart. I realize that they can take time to build, but are we actually at a point where playing with legos (other than setting them up in one particular way) is considered ruining them?

That's not to say these kids aren't brats. Perhaps they are. But the lego thing just shocked me.

Yes. Disassembling a lego set that is put together (the complex ones can take HOURS and HOURS to do) without the permission of the owner is ruining it. Please teach your child this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

Kids are 6-8 years old.

I should add that our kids just started the same school this year. I was very friendly to them since we were new to the school. I regret this very much! The parents seem to like us a lot because they are always wanting to hang out with us too. DH and I are just not interested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm clearly new to this because my kid is only 4, but when I read DESTROYING, SMASHING, BREAKING I thought things were actually being ruined -- not assembled legos being taken apart. I realize that they can take time to build, but are we actually at a point where playing with legos (other than setting them up in one particular way) is considered ruining them?

That's not to say these kids aren't brats. Perhaps they are. But the lego thing just shocked me.

Yes. Disassembling a lego set that is put together (the complex ones can take HOURS and HOURS to do) without the permission of the owner is ruining it. Please teach your child this.

I'm clearly new to this because my kid is only 4, but when I read DESTROYING, SMASHING, BREAKING I thought things were actually being ruined -- not assembled legos being taken apart. I realize that they can take time to build, but are we actually at a point where playing with legos (other than setting them up in one particular way) is considered ruining them?

That's not to say these kids aren't brats. Perhaps they are. But the lego thing just shocked me.

Yes. Disassembling a lego set that is put together (the complex ones can take HOURS and HOURS to do) without the permission of the owner is ruining it. Please teach your child this.

OP here. At the end of the day, I just don't want those kids in my house. I also don't want to hang out with their parents either. Not being passive aggressive.

Anonymous wrote:I'm clearly new to this because my kid is only 4, but when I read DESTROYING, SMASHING, BREAKING I thought things were actually being ruined -- not assembled legos being taken apart. I realize that they can take time to build, but are we actually at a point where playing with legos (other than setting them up in one particular way) is considered ruining them?

That's not to say these kids aren't brats. Perhaps they are. But the lego thing just shocked me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're kind of nuts. Some PPs described kids who did disrespectful things but in your case you only described stuff that's really normal.

Tons of kids don't think it's "breaking" legos to take creations apart and play with them and the fact that you used that language makes it clear you're the weird one here.

You should really stop being so passive aggressive and just make the rules clear to the neighborhood kids as well as your own.

OP here. At the end of the day, I just don't want those kids in my house. I also don't want to hang out with their parents either. Not being passive aggressive.

We are friends with other people in our neighborhood that we see once every month or so. We like those kids and their parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're kind of nuts. Some PPs described kids who did disrespectful things but in your case you only described stuff that's really normal.

Tons of kids don't think it's "breaking" legos to take creations apart and play with them and the fact that you used that language makes it clear you're the weird one here.

You should really stop being so passive aggressive and just make the rules clear to the neighborhood kids as well as your own.

OP here. At the end of the day, I just don't want those kids in my house. I also don't want to hang out with their parents either. Not being passive aggressive.

We are friends with other people in our neighborhood that we see once every month or so. We like those kids and their parents.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're kind of nuts. Some PPs described kids who did disrespectful things but in your case you only described stuff that's really normal.

Tons of kids don't think it's "breaking" legos to take creations apart and play with them and the fact that you used that language makes it clear you're the weird one here.

You should really stop being so passive aggressive and just make the rules clear to the neighborhood kids as well as your own.

Anonymous wrote:I lay down the law to ALL of the kids (including mine) BEFORE they start playing in my strong, I am NOT messing with you voice:

No one is to touch anyone else.
No one is to break anything.
No one is to go into my room or ___________.
There are no snacks or drinks outside of the kitchen.
This is the ONLY thing that you may have for a snack. If you don't like it I DON"T want to hear it.
There is no _____________ in this house.
You will help picking up BEFORE you leave.

If anyone breaks these rules the fun stops and everyone goes home.

I find this works even with the most out of hand kids.

Also, tell your kid to put toys they don't want to share or break in your room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had those neighbor kids. They broke so many toys-- with us watching in the same room. We had to start turning them away (also, parents were taking advantage of the free babysitting) and eventually, it stopped. We don't let them in our home- only outside play. You are the adult, you are in control.

I am going to decline 100% of the time and hopefully they will get the hint. They are everywhere though - school, our community pool, after school activities, school events, etc. etc. etc.

OP, I think a lot of posters are missing your follow-up posts that indicate this larger issue. This isn't just about these kids destroying your child's Lego creation this one time, or otherwise being destructive of property when in your house. That's just a part of a larger issue which is a family that wants more time and more attention from you than you want to give and that also sees whenever you come and go from your house and expects you to be OK with all the "are you home yet" texts etc. You said earlier that the adults seem to want to cultivate a friendship with you and your spouse. Plus you will run into them everywhere all the time so just blowing them off entirely isn't possible (unless you want cold-shoulder adult drama at every pool trip and every school play, and I'm sure you don't).

I feel for you. It's tough when a kid's friend's parents want to befriend you and you don't click but they don't see it.

If you haven't yet given the other adults a chance, or spent much time trying to see if they could actually be good friends to you and your spouse -- maybe give it a try since you might be missing out on a real friendship. If you have already tried that and truly feel you have a good basis for knowing you don't want these neighbors/fellow school parents as your own friends -- then you'll need to Be Too Busy: "Yes, I'm home, but we've got plans." "Thanks for the invitation but Johnny can't play right now. He's got a lot going on this week. Maybe next week?" And so on. I would not cut your son off from these other kids completely if they're OK kids when outside, but I'd use the "only outside" rule. And as for his going over to their house where they play endless video games, I'd simply tell the other parents that your child can only stay X amount of time, and tell your son that any screen time at other kids' houses counts toward his total screen time, period. And I wouldn't let him go over more than once a week, if he's going to do nothing there but play video games.

Tread with some care. I'd try to stay cordial with this family since you and they will see each other a lot and everywhere and it is good to have neighbors you know well enough to help each other out at times. We've had next door neighbors who were not truly friends of ours (different interests, different outlooks, etc.) but we were all cordial and helpful with each other as neighbors -- if a kid needed a ride to school but the parents' car wasn't working, they could ask us for a ride and knew it would be OK, and vice versa. I even borrowed their car twice when mine had issues, and my husband drove the wife to doctor's appointments a few times. But I admit, that family was not texting me eagerly to see if I was around for their kid to play with ours daily--that would have driven me a bit nuts. In your case, I'd show that I'm open to some outdoor play dates and occasional video gaming at their house, and I'd talk with the adults mostly about school and the pool etc. and nothing personal. I hope that they'd get the hint eventually about the level of relationship you're willing to have.