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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with PP about causation. All four stay at home mothers in my friend group did so because [b]there was no way to handle two or three kids when their spouses were traveling and working crazy hours at very high-paying jobs[/b]. One is in and out of the work force when she can find interesting part-time contracting gigs.

One is planning to go back to work as soon as kids are more independent (late middle school) and two others have been talking to me about how down they have been feeling lately, with late ES/ MS kids and their careers in the rear view. They're getting annoyed when their kids ask them what they do all day.

I think when you hear from women with small kids you'll get a different take on all of this than parents of older kids. The down side of staying at home is more apparent when you're in your 40s, would like to be using your degree and interacting with adults, and the work force has left you behind.

FWIW Nobody I know from my law school class (HLS 1998) is staying at home. Most of my friends work at something we really love. When I win power ball this week I'm still going to work. [/quote]

I call B.S. I've got friends with high paying jobs and they hire help. Their nanny runs them about 60K per year. She does all the kids stuff. drop off, pick up, wash, etc. My friends have a much more relaxed lifestyle than my husband and I. I SAH and he works. We don't have a nanny so we have to do all of the stuff my friends nanny does + work. A woman who has a high salary and wants to stay home uses her husbands work schedule as an excuse for why she doesn't want to work but the bottom line is that she doesn't want to work so she isn't. If she wanted to she would work and find a way to get it done.
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A new poster here.  I know at least four SAHMs from the HLS class of 1996 so we may just be familiar with different groups.  In fact, the governing board at our children's school has at least 3 SAHMs with degrees from Harvard.

None of us has more than 24 hours in a day, and we choose to dedicate different amounts of time to different activities.  Yes, I feed my kids and they manage to get to their activities.  But, my SAHM friends have more time to connect with their kids rather than having a nanny/babysitter/carpool do the driving to activities, and they also connect more with their kids (and cook more with their kids) because they are home.  For families with 3-4 kids, I see a particularly big difference in general coordination and management when they have a SAHM (or a close relative living nearby providing significant assistance).  I am a WOHM, and was a SAHM for a few years.  I can see the difference that that the time and effort my SAHM dedicate to their families makes.   And for those who say "it can be done" through lots of outsourcing, of course it can with enough money.  But, that degree of outsourcing of family life is not what many families want for themselves or their kids.  [/quote]

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