Reply to Feel Like DH Abandoned Me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh the drama, OP!
He should have abandoned his kids, his work, his online study, ... you felt abandoned... really? :shock:  [/quote]

Well he could have taken his ex up on her generous offer to watch the kids for a couple extra days, and completed his schoolwork on his laptop while hanging out at the hospital with his wife.  I don't think OP would be so upset if it was just about DH taking care of the essential stuff in his life.  [/quote]

Well, I don't think that anything that OP has said WASN'T an essential thing.

Let's be honest - OP could have used her words to communicate during those weeks that she was feeling abandoned, lonely and bored.

So let's consider the alternative side:

Maybe DH didn't make extended visits was thinking of other things related to his job eg. Needing to take extra leave if baby was born early and there were other complications and there was now a baby in NICU and extra support actually requires. Sounds like OP was otherwise stable in hospital and other than hand holding, there wasn't a lot to be done.

Maybe the other children are already having trouble adapting to a stepmother and new baby on the way and he was trying to alleviate their fears and not shake up their lives (which inevitably WILL be shaken up without doubt once new baby is born).

Maybe he was trying to focus and complete as much coursework as he could so when baby was born, he might have a little wiggle room to help with day to day stuff.

The problems in life always leas to assumptions, and the problems with any assumptions about another person's frame of mind is that usually, assumptions can be wrong.

See, I would probably stab my DH in the eye if he compromised our future by neglecting work or schoolwork to come visit me for extra time while I was safe and stable in the hospital for weeks on end. If he visited once a day, checked in by text, and downloaded stuff to our iTunes account for me, and otherwise took responsibility for the team, I'd happy. But OP wasn't, which is okay. But she didn't seem to communicate that, and three months on, she still hasn't communicated it. Unless she married a mind reader, I'm not sure how he was just supposed to know if she wanted him there or not.

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