Reply to How long do I need put up with laziness?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
+1 that there are the right questions to ask.  My DH, who I met in college and was working when we married, has a JD and a Master's and is currently a SAHD that doesn't even keep up with the house or kids all that well but knows a LOT about video games and his hobbies.  He is only a SAHD because he lost his job and didn't even try to find anything else.

I work 60-80 hours a week and have to nag him to do even the most basic thing.  But for the kids, I would be out in a moment, not because he doesn't fulfill some SES need but because he is not truly a partner.  Instead of the motivated person I married, he is horribly lazy and selfish. It just isn't clear from your post whether that is true of your DH or not...[/quote]

So he checked off all your on paper boxes and now you feel deceived. I hope this serves as a valuable lessons to your fellow money grubbing broads.[/quote]

"I just want an equal partner" == "I am entitled to a man whose socioeconomic status is equal to or greater than my own."

The best women (and men, too) are internally motivated. They don't feel "embarrassed" by their spouse's job because they have their own career and hobbies and passions.[/quote]

PP here - a reading comprehension fail yet again.  Let me try this in more basic terms.  You meet and marry a nice woman and decide to get married.  She has her own "career and hobbies and passions," as do you.  You appreciate that about her and want her to be happy.  You get married, and she then loses her job.  You're totally fine with that, but then she sits on the couch and doesn't look for a job or pursue those old hobbies or passions.  She just plays candy crush.  Then the house starts getting dirtier and dirtier, and you realize that the baby may have stayed in the crib all day at least two days a week.  In the meantime, the financial pressure from the situation has made you up your hours at work, such that you no longer have time for your own hobbies and passions.  Instead, you spend your nights cleaning and trying to get your wife out of her funk.  Rinse and repeat for several years.

I would be overjoyed if my DH wanted to be a waiter or do anything that involved showing up on time and having an adult conversation once in a while.  I do not need him to have "socioeconomic status equal to or greater than my own" in any way.  I usually don't swipe back, but you're really off base here, about me and a lot of women.  Yes, people change during a marriage, and I am obviously still married "for richer or for poorer," but when a spouse stops trying at life, that is pretty fundamental and very different from being the snooty golddigger some people seem to hellbent on portraying people in our shoes as.[/quote]

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