Reply to LD wife working on relationship- just found about DH "emotional affair"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could be your husband.  My DW is low drive.  We have had a dozen conversations over the years.  She says she will try to step it up but never does.  We have "take one for the team" sex a couple times a month, decent sex on vacation.  She says she loves me, wants to grow old with me, has the perfect marriage, but just can't find it in her at the end of the day to have sex.

Two reasons it feels so rejecting: 1) the way I feel connected and love with her is partly through sex.  The lack of sex destroys us, erodes our love.  2) it would take, from my view, such little effort for her to try, maybe once or twice a week, to get in the mood.  I take the kids out of the house, make dinner, happy to use toys in the bedroom, fantasize, whatever.  She just can't seem to be bothered to make an effort.  Yet, if I bring it up for the umpteenth time, she ends up crying because she is failing me as a wife.

So when someone I met showed an interest in me sexually, not as a chore but as a genuine interest, it became near life-affirming.

I am not excusing what your husband did, what I did, I am just explaining it.

It's interesting for me to read what you write from your side.  I try to empathize with my DW's position.  Again, I can't understand why she would jeopardize our marriage, our kids stability, all of it, because she just appears unwilling to devote any of her energy into our sex life.

Good luck, I hope you can make it through this.[/quote]

Dude. YOU are the one destroying your marriage. YOU are ruining your kids' stability. Once your wife finds out, you're done. And when she does you're going to tell her that she made you put your $&@# in another woman. You're just a wolf in sheep's clothing. I wonder what other mistakes of yours are blamed on her.

I hope she finds out. Maybe she already knows and doesn't want to have sex with your dirty d$#! but is making excuses because she doesn't want to put her kids through a divorce. Even if you never had sex with her again, you wouldn't deserve her.
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