Reply to If you had an affair, did you bury your feelings?

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Reply to "If you had an affair, did you bury your feelings?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He's morning the loss of his lover.  It's natural.  Give him time.  Back off or you won't have a marriage. He will come around. 
[/quote]

This is very true. He liked who he was with his AP. He wants to be with you, but you can't turn feelings off (or on) like a tap. Stick around. Do date nights, figure out what it is you need and the things he needs to feel loving (e.g. the 5 love languages) And do them, even if they feel awkward. Eventually, they will become more normal, and not forced.

Yes, the affair was his fault, completely. He knows that. [b]But there was something in your marriage that allowed that space to open up that allowed him to go outside your marriage for emotional and sexual comfort. You both need to work on that.[/b]

This takes time. Lots of time. I can tell you if I'd moved out after my affair I would not be married right now. Because that constant "together time" is just helpful. Awkward. Unpleasant sometimes. But necessary.[/quote]

Really?  A man abandons his new baby and wife suffering from PPD to go have an affair and something "allowed" him to go outside his marriage?  Maybe if he'd double downed on being a grown-up and cared enough about his wife enough to google once "Why is my wife so sad after having a baby?" this wouldn't have happened.

I have very, very little respect for anyone who would treat a newly postpartum woman this way.  The first year of marriage after having a baby is hard--but the answer is not to run off.[/quote]

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