Reply to No Respect for DH, and falling out of love.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh god. He sounds like my bf. I love but it his lack of self esteem / fear of going out and getting a better career is making me cringe inside and lose respect. It's so so hard to respect and admire a guy who can't go out and be a winner. I'm 29 and feel like if my if I leave him I don't have much of a shot at getting a high achieving confident guy at this age. As those are mostly taken up by smart girls in their early twenties.

At this point I should probably marry him and have a few kids and make the best of it.[/quote]

I don't know why you think you should just marry him.  Doesn't this thread make you think twice?

Obviously, I don't know your BF's exact situation, but I met a man when I was 30, he was mid 30's.  He could've gone far in his career, too.  He has a lot of respect in his industry. However, going further in his career would've made him unhappy because it would mean taking a managerial role, which he hates.  He is much happier being a technical lead and individual contributer.

So, although he could probably make a heck of a lot more money if he furthered his career, I accept him for who he is, and his desire to stay in the type of role he enjoys. He was always up front about this.   And quite honestly, I have similar opinions that he has on this.

Having said that, though, he is a good provider and very engaged father and husband, and unlike OP's DH, mine isn't wishy washy or complain if I make the calls if he doesn't.   So, I really have no complaints (other than the little things here and there that every couple has).[/quote]

This seems pretty reasonable.[/quote]

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