Reply to Constructive Feedback on Wife's Hair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP did you marry your wife for the person she is or for her hair?[/b]

Also, to the One PP accusing the other about making it all about them: you would be surprised how many men attach long hair as some requisite of feminity" and loathe it on their wives, regardless of how good shorter hair may look on them.

Now, OP, here's my two cents: communicate with your wife. Maybe she loves her new shorter hair. As a woman who went from very long hair to a pixie cut and loved it, I'll say this: having short hair can make a woman feel very empowered and stylish. Because *You* don't like it doesn't mean that she doesn't feel fabulous, and before you lodge your opinion /complain, please take some time to explore how she feels. She may be inching shorter because she knows you prefer the longer hair, but SHE likes it shorter.

Also take some time to explore your ow bias. Is it that you prefer the longer hair on her, or that you tie it to femininity, etc.

I don't think men know or appreciate how much a new hairstyle can make a woman feel fabulous. [/quote]
[b]
OP here, I am not sure what you are asking, but I will try to answer.  I will love my wife regardless of her hair length.  But I find her more sexually attractive with long hair, and I do think it makes her look more beautiful in general.  A person is attracted to what they are attracted to, I don't know that I can change that.  Sort of like what I said earlier - a long beard could make me feel empowered but if it turned off my wife (even though she would still love me) I should shave it, [/b]no?[/quote]

Lord help me if the sexual attraction in my marriage boils down to a haircut or facial hair. [/quote]
[b]
I agree with the OP here. It's not that spouses should be required to groom themselves as their spouse dictates, but I don't think it's an ideal dynamic for either spouse to have no interest in pleasing the other. If you absolutely only want short hair, okay, sure he could get used to it even if it's not his first choice. But if you prefer short and know he likes long, wouldn't you want to get something in the middle? My husband asks me about how to trim his goatee and I like that I'm his primary audience on that. Obviously it needs to look professional as well, but no harm in taking your spouse's preferences into consideration[/b]. [/quote]

If you and your spouse are discussing paint colors, then I agree with meeting in the middle. You have two people who are equally invested in that decision.

When you're discussing something that you want that will make you feel happier and more confident in your own skin, and is as superficial and temporary as a hairstyle, then no, I wouldn't want something in the middle. I wouldn't want a marriage where I am bound to my husband's preference on how I look, either. I would hope we had passed that stage long ago. Provided I am healthy and happy, again, I'm glad our sexual relationship isn't that tenuous that my hairstyle affects it.

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